“I should not tell the truth if I were to say that this kind of life was unpleasant to me.  Mystery and danger always add to the charms of love.  The difficulties only increased my passion.  I saw something sublime in this success with which two superior beings devoted all their intelligence and cleverness to the carrying-on of a secret intrigue.  The more fully I became aware of the veneration with which the countess was looked up to by the whole country, the more I learned to appreciate her ability in dissembling and her profound perversity; and I was all the more proud of her.  I felt the pride setting my cheeks aglow when I saw her at Brechy; for I came there every Sunday for her sake alone, to see her pass calm and serene in the imposing security of her lofty reputation.  I laughed at the simplicity of all these honest, good people, who bowed so low to her, thinking they saluted a saint; and I congratulated myself with idiotic delight at being the only one who knew the true Countess Claudieuse,—­she who took her revenge so bravely in our house in Passy!

“But such delights never last long.

“It had not taken me long to find out that I had given myself a master, and the most imperious and exacting master that ever lived.  I had almost ceased to belong to myself.  I had become her property; and I lived and breathed and thought and acted for her alone.  She did not mind my tastes and my dislikes.  She wished a thing, and that was enough.  She wrote to me, ‘Come!’ and I had to be instantly on the spot:  she said to me, ‘Go!’ an I had to leave at once.  At first I accepted these evidences of her despotism with joy; but gradually I became tired of this perpetual abdication of my own will.  I disliked to have no control over myself, to be unable to dispose of twenty-four hours in advance.  I began to feel the pressure of the halter around my neck.  I thought of flight.  One of my friends was to set out on a voyage around the world, which was to last eighteen months or two years, and I had an idea of accompanying him.  There was nothing to retain me.  I was, by fortune and position, perfectly independent.  Why should I not carry out my plan?

“Ah, why?  The prism was not broken yet.  I cursed the tyranny of the countess; but I still trembled when I heard her name mentioned.  I thought of escaping from her; but a single glance moved me to the bottom of my heart.  I was bound to her by the thousand tender threads of habit and of complicity,—­those threads which seem to be more delicate than gossamer, but which are harder to break than a ship’s cable.

“Still, this idea which had occurred to me brought it about that I uttered for the first time the word ‘separation’ in her presence, asking her what she would do if I should leave her.  She looked at me with a strange air and asked me, after a moment’s hesitation,—­

“‘Are you serious?  Is it a warning?’

“I dared not carry matters any farther, and, making an effort to smile, I said,—­