January 3, 1913.

Colonel Theodore Roosevelt: 

Dear Sir—­I suppose you are willing to stand sponsor for the assertion that the women of the country are not doing their duty unless they have large families.  I wonder if you know the real reason, after all.  Society and clubs are held largely to blame, but society really takes in so few people, after all.  I thought, when I got married at twenty, that it was the proper thing to have a family, and, as we had very little of this world’s goods, also thought it the thing to do all the necessary work for them.  I have had nine children, did all my own work, including washing, ironing, house-cleaning, and the care of the little ones as they came along, which was about every two years; also sewed everything they wore, including trousers for the boys and caps and jackets for the girls while little.  I also helped them all in their school work, and started them in music, etc.  But as they grew older I got behind the times.  I never belonged to a club or a society or lodge, nor went to any one’s house scarcely; there wasn’t time.  In consequence, I knew nothing that was going on in the town, much less the events of the country, and at the same time my husband kept growing in wisdom and knowledge, from mixing with men and hearing topics of the times discussed.  At the beginning of our married life I had just as quick a mind to grasp things as he did, and had more school education, having graduated from a three years’ high school.  My husband more and more declined to discuss things with me; as he said, “I didn’t know anything about it.”  When I’d ask he’d say, “Oh, you wouldn’t understand if I’d tell you.”  So here I am, at forty-five years, hopelessly dull and uninteresting, while he can mix with the brightest minds in the country as an equal.  He’s a strong Progressive man, took very active part in the late campaign, etc.  I am also Progressive, and tried my best, after so many years of shut-in life, to grasp the ideas you stood for, and read everything I could find during the summer and fall.  But I’ve been out of touch with people too long now, and my husband would much rather go and talk to some woman who hasn’t had any children, because she knows things (I am not specifying any particular woman).  I simply bore him to death because I’m not interesting.  Now, tell me, how was it my fault?  I was only doing what I thought was my duty.  No woman can keep up with things who never talks with any one but young children.  As soon as my children grew up they took the same attitude as their father, and frequently say, “Oh, mother doesn’t know.”  They look up to and admire their father because he’s a man of the world and knows how to act when he goes out.  How can I urge my daughters now to go and raise large families?  It means by the time you have lost your figure and charm for them they are all ashamed of you.  Now, as a believer in woman’s rights, do a little talking to the men as to their duties to their wives, or else refrain from urging us women to have children.  I am only one of thousands of middle-class respectable women who give their lives to raise a nice family, and then who become bitter from the injustice done us.  Don’t let this go into the waste-basket, but think it over.