They are very uncleanly—­these people—­in face, in person and dress.  When they see any body with a clean shirt on, it arouses their scorn.  The women wash clothes, half the day, at the public tanks in the streets, but they are probably somebody else’s.  Or may be they keep one set to wear and another to wash; because they never put on any that have ever been washed.  When they get done washing, they sit in the alleys and nurse their cubs.  They nurse one ash-cat at a time, and the others scratch their backs against the door-post and are happy.

All this country belongs to the Papal States.  They do not appear to have any schools here, and only one billiard table.  Their education is at a very low stage.  One portion of the men go into the military, another into the priesthood, and the rest into the shoe-making business.

They keep up the passport system here, but so they do in Turkey.  This shows that the Papal States are as far advanced as Turkey.  This fact will be alone sufficient to silence the tongues of malignant calumniators.  I had to get my passport vised for Rome in Florence, and then they would not let me come ashore here until a policeman had examined it on the wharf and sent me a permit.  They did not even dare to let me take my passport in my hands for twelve hours, I looked so formidable.  They judged it best to let me cool down.  They thought I wanted to take the town, likely.  Little did they know me.  I wouldn’t have it.  They examined my baggage at the depot.  They took one of my ablest jokes and read it over carefully twice and then read it backwards.  But it was too deep for them.  They passed it around, and every body speculated on it awhile, but it mastered them all.

It was no common joke.  At length a veteran officer spelled it over deliberately and shook his head three or four times and said that in his opinion it was seditious.  That was the first time I felt alarmed.  I immediately said I would explain the document, and they crowded around.  And so I explained and explained and explained, and they took notes of all I said, but the more I explained the more they could not understand it, and when they desisted at last, I could not even understand it myself.  They said they believed it was an incendiary document, leveled at the government.  I declared solemnly that it was not, but they only shook their heads and would not be satisfied.  Then they consulted a good while; and finally they confiscated it.  I was very sorry for this, because I had worked a long time on that joke, and took a good deal of pride in it, and now I suppose I shall never see it any more.  I suppose it will be sent up and filed away among the criminal archives of Rome, and will always be regarded as a mysterious infernal machine which would have blown up like a mine and scattered the good Pope all around, but for a miraculous providential interference.  And I suppose that all the time I am in Rome the police will dog me about from place to place because they think I am a dangerous character.