that stood for an atmosphere, and never opened his mouth.  Here is a proud devil, thought I; here is a limb of Satan that would rather send us all to destruction than put himself under obligations to me, because I am not yet one of the salt of the earth and privileged to snub captains and lord it over everything dead and alive in a steamboat.  I presently climbed up on the bench; I did not think it was safe to go to sleep while this lunatic was on watch.

However, I must have gone to sleep in the course of time, because the next thing I was aware of was the fact that day was breaking, Mr. W——­ gone, and Mr. Bixby at the wheel again.  So it was four o’clock and all well—­but me; I felt like a skinful of dry bones and all of them trying to ache at once.

Mr. Bixby asked me what I had stayed up there for.  I confessed that it was to do Mr. W——­ a benevolence,—­tell him where he was.  It took five minutes for the entire preposterousness of the thing to filter into Mr. Bixby’s system, and then I judge it filled him nearly up to the chin; because he paid me a compliment—­and not much of a one either.  He said,

’Well, taking you by-and-large, you do seem to be more different kinds of an ass than any creature I ever saw before.  What did you suppose he wanted to know for?’

I said I thought it might be a convenience to him.

’Convenience D-nation!  Didn’t I tell you that a man’s got to know the river in the night the same as he’d know his own front hall?’

’Well, I can follow the front hall in the dark if I know it is the front hall; but suppose you set me down in the middle of it in the dark and not tell me which hall it is; how am I to know?’

‘Well you’ve got to, on the river!’

’All right.  Then I’m glad I never said anything to Mr. W——­ ’

’I should say so.  Why, he’d have slammed you through the window and utterly ruined a hundred dollars’ worth of window-sash and stuff.’

I was glad this damage had been saved, for it would have made me unpopular with the owners.  They always hated anybody who had the name of being careless, and injuring things.

I went to work now to learn the shape of the river; and of all the eluding and ungraspable objects that ever I tried to get mind or hands on, that was the chief.  I would fasten my eyes upon a sharp, wooded point that projected far into the river some miles ahead of me, and go to laboriously photographing its shape upon my brain; and just as I was beginning to succeed to my satisfaction, we would draw up toward it and the exasperating thing would begin to melt away and fold back into the bank!  If there had been a conspicuous dead tree standing upon the very point of the cape, I would find that tree inconspicuously merged into the general forest, and occupying the middle of a straight shore, when I got abreast of it!  No prominent hill would stick to its shape long enough for me to make up my mind what its form really was, but it was as dissolving and changeful as if it had been a mountain of butter in the hottest corner of the tropics.  Nothing ever had the same shape when I was coming downstream that it had borne when I went up.  I mentioned these little difficulties to Mr. Bixby.  He said—­