to feel the effects of liberty and long speeches,
and radicalism, and all that sort of thing. People
who were formerly, the very best customers in the
world, had now not a moment of time to think of us
at all. They had, so they said, as much as they
could do to read about the revolutions, and keep up
with the march of intellect and the spirit of the age.
If a fire wanted fanning, it could readily be fanned
with a newspaper, and as the government grew weaker,
I have no doubt that leather and iron acquired durability
in proportion, for, in a very short time, there was
not a pair of bellows in all Rotterdam that ever stood
in need of a stitch or required the assistance of
a hammer. This was a state of things not to be
endured. I soon grew as poor as a rat, and, having
a wife and children to provide for, my burdens at length
became intolerable, and I spent hour after hour in
reflecting upon the most convenient method of putting
an end to my life. Duns, in the meantime, left
me little leisure for contemplation. My house
was literally besieged from morning till night, so
that I began to rave, and foam, and fret like a caged
tiger against the bars of his enclosure. There
were three fellows in particular who worried me beyond
endurance, keeping watch continually about my door,
and threatening me with the law. Upon these three
I internally vowed the bitterest revenge, if ever
I should be so happy as to get them within my clutches;
and I believe nothing in the world but the pleasure
of this anticipation prevented me from putting my
plan of suicide into immediate execution, by blowing
my brains out with a blunderbuss. I thought it
best, however, to dissemble my wrath, and to treat
them with promises and fair words, until, by some
good turn of fate, an opportunity of vengeance should
be afforded me.
“One day, having given my creditors the slip,
and feeling more than usually dejected, I continued
for a long time to wander about the most obscure streets
without object whatever, until at length I chanced
to stumble against the corner of a bookseller’s
stall. Seeing a chair close at hand, for the
use of customers, I threw myself doggedly into it,
and, hardly knowing why, opened the pages of the first
volume which came within my reach. It proved to
be a small pamphlet treatise on Speculative Astronomy,
written either by Professor Encke of Berlin or by
a Frenchman of somewhat similar name. I had some
little tincture of information on matters of this nature,
and soon became more and more absorbed in the contents
of the book, reading it actually through twice before
I awoke to a recollection of what was passing around
me. By this time it began to grow dark, and I
directed my steps toward home. But the treatise
had made an indelible impression on my mind, and,
as I sauntered along the dusky streets, I revolved
carefully over in my memory the wild and sometimes
unintelligible reasonings of the writer. There
are some particular passages which affected my imagination