I walked to and fro on the platform and thought, should I go away or not?  When the train came in I decided not to go.  At home I had to expect my wife’s amazement and perhaps her mockery, the dismal upper storey and my uneasiness; but, still, at my age that was easier and as it were more homelike than travelling for two days and nights with strangers to Petersburg, where I should be conscious every minute that my life was of no use to any one or to anything, and that it was approaching its end.  No, better at home whatever awaited me there....  I went out of the station.  It was awkward by daylight to return home, where every one was so glad at my going.  I might spend the rest of the day till evening at some neighbour’s, but with whom?  With some of them I was on strained relations, others I did not know at all.  I considered and thought of Ivan Ivanitch.

“We are going to Bragino!” I said to the coachman, getting into the sledge.

“It’s a long way,” sighed Nikanor; “it will be twenty miles, or maybe twenty-five.”

“Oh, please, my dear fellow,” I said in a tone as though Nikanor had the right to refuse.  “Please let us go!”

Nikanor shook his head doubtfully and said slowly that we really ought to have put in the shafts, not Circassian, but Peasant or Siskin; and uncertainly, as though expecting I should change my mind, took the reins in his gloves, stood up, thought a moment, and then raised his whip.

“A whole series of inconsistent actions...”  I thought, screening my face from the snow.  “I must have gone out of my mind.  Well, I don’t care....”

In one place, on a very high and steep slope, Nikanor carefully held the horses in to the middle of the descent, but in the middle the horses suddenly bolted and dashed downhill at a fearful rate; he raised his elbows and shouted in a wild, frantic voice such as I had never heard from him before: 

“Hey!  Let’s give the general a drive!  If you come to grief he’ll buy new ones, my darlings!  Hey! look out!  We’ll run you down!”

Only now, when the extraordinary pace we were going at took my breath away, I noticed that he was very drunk.  He must have been drinking at the station.  At the bottom of the descent there was the crash of ice; a piece of dirty frozen snow thrown up from the road hit me a painful blow in the face.

The runaway horses ran up the hill as rapidly as they had downhill, and before I had time to shout to Nikanor my sledge was flying along on the level in an old pine forest, and the tall pines were stretching out their shaggy white paws to me from all directions.

“I have gone out of my mind, and the coachman’s drunk,” I thought.  “Good!”

I found Ivan Ivanitch at home.  He laughed till he coughed, laid his head on my breast, and said what he always did say on meeting me: 

“You grow younger and younger.  I don’t know what dye you use for your hair and your beard; you might give me some of it.”