I would get up from the table with a sigh and begin walking about the big rooms of my deserted country-house.  When I was tired of walking about I would stand still at my study window, and, looking across the wide courtyard, over the pond and the bare young birch-trees and the great fields covered with recently fallen, thawing snow, I saw on a low hill on the horizon a group of mud-coloured huts from which a black muddy road ran down in an irregular streak through the white field.  That was Pestrovo, concerning which my anonymous correspondent had written to me.  If it had not been for the crows who, foreseeing rain or snowy weather, floated cawing over the pond and the fields, and the tapping in the carpenter’s shed, this bit of the world about which such a fuss was being made would have seemed like the Dead Sea; it was all so still, motionless, lifeless, and dreary!

My uneasiness hindered me from working and concentrating myself; I did not know what it was, and chose to believe it was disappointment.  I had actually given up my post in the Department of Ways and Communications, and had come here into the country expressly to live in peace and to devote myself to writing on social questions.  It had long been my cherished dream.  And now I had to say good-bye both to peace and to literature, to give up everything and think only of the peasants.  And that was inevitable, because I was convinced that there was absolutely nobody in the district except me to help the starving.  The people surrounding me were uneducated, unintellectual, callous, for the most part dishonest, or if they were honest, they were unreasonable and unpractical like my wife, for instance.  It was impossible to rely on such people, it was impossible to leave the peasants to their fate, so that the only thing left to do was to submit to necessity and see to setting the peasants to rights myself.

I began by making up my mind to give five thousand roubles to the assistance of the starving peasants.  And that did not decrease, but only aggravated my uneasiness.  As I stood by the window or walked about the rooms I was tormented by the question which had not occurred to me before:  how this money was to be spent.  To have bread bought and to go from hut to hut distributing it was more than one man could do, to say nothing of the risk that in your haste you might give twice as much to one who was well-fed or to one who was making money out of his fellows as to the hungry.  I had no faith in the local officials.  All these district captains and tax inspectors were young men, and I distrusted them as I do all young people of today, who are materialistic and without ideals.  The District Zemstvo, the Peasant Courts, and all the local institutions, inspired in me not the slightest desire to appeal to them for assistance.  I knew that all these institutions who were busily engaged in picking out plums from the Zemstvo and the Government pie had their mouths always wide open for a bite at any other pie that might turn up.