Moravian Knight’s Entertainment.

If yo want to know owt abaght me, let me tell yo ’at they called mi father Knight, an’ when aw wor born he had me kursend Moravian; but noa sooiner did aw begin to laik wi’ th’ lads abaght ner aw began to be called Morry Neet.  Soa mich abaght misen.

Aw oft think ‘at fowk mak a sad mistak, i’ spendin all ther time leearnin.  Aw think if them ‘at know soa mich had to spend part o’ ther time taichin other fowk what they know, th’ world mud ha’ fewer philosophers, but it ’ud have fewer fooils.  As that’s my nooation, awve detarmined to let yo know ha aw gate on th’ furst time aw went to a penny readin, an’ may be somdy ’ll leearn summat bi that.

Awd seen a lot o’ bills stuck up for mony a day, statin’ at th’ 16th select penny readin’ wor to tak place i’th’ Jimmy Loin National Schooil, an’ aw thowt awd goa.  Soa when th’ neet coom aw went to th’ door aw clap daan mi penny like a mon, an’ wor walkin in—­

“Stop!  Stop!” shaated aght th’ brass takker, “Tha mun come back, tha’s nobbut gien me a penny.”

“Aw know aw’ve nobbut gien thee a penny,” aw says; “Ha mich moor does ta want?  Its a penny readin, isn’t it?”

“Eea, its a penny readin, but its thrippince to goa in,” he sed.

“Well, if that’s it,” aw says, “here’s tother tuppince, but awm blowed if aw see it.”  But aw went in, an’ a rare hoilful ther wor.  In a bit Alderman Nonowt wor vooated into th’ cheer, an’ then he made a speech—­

“Ladies and Gentlemen—­(then he coughed two or three times, an’ supt o’ watter),—­I can assure you ’at nothink gives me greater pleasure, or greater enjoyment, or I might say greater satisfaction, (a varry deal o’ clappin i’th’ front seeats—­supt twice), when I look around me, ladies and gentlemen, and see so many old and familiar faces that I have never seen before, and when I see so many strangers that I have passed long years of social intercourse amongst, I feel, ladies and gentlemen, I feel moved, very much moved, and when I gaze again I begin to feel removed.  Our object which we have in view, in keeping agate of giving these here readings, are to throw open the doors of knowledge, so that all may come and drink from the inexhaustible bottle, so to speak, ladies and gentleman, which says ‘drink and thirst no more’ (great cheering—­women wi’ cleean pocket hankerchies blow ther nooases).  These meetings have also another himportant object, a nobject noble and great, which is namely, to draw people out of the public houses, and create a thirst in them for wisdom.  How many men, after a hard day’s work, go and sit in the public house, or what is still worse, often spend their time at some thripny concert room until nine or ten o’clock, whereas now they can come here and sit until 10 or 11 o’clock, where they are not only hentertained, but hedicated and hedified.  With thease few remarks, I call upon the first reader for a solo on the German concertina.”