“Your equinomical ways, Josiah Allen,” sez I, “it seems to me ort to rize you up above every other man on the face of the globe, and make a lion of you of the first magnitude, even a roarin’ African lion, as it were.”

He looked proud and happy, and I proceeded.

“But pause for one moment,” sez I, in tender, cautious axents, “and think of the power, the tremendious econimy of the males you are a-tryin’ to emulate and outdo.  Think of how they have dealt with the cause of wimmen’s liberty for the past few years, and tremble.  How dast you, one weak man, though highly versed in the ways of equinomical tightness—­how dast you to try and set up and be anybody amid that host?”

He looked skairt.  He see what he wuz a-doin’ plainer than he had seen it, and I went on: 

“Think of that big Methodist Conference in New York a few years ago that Casper Keeler told us about—­think how equinomical they wuz with their dealin’s with wimmen on that occasion, and ever sence.

“The wimmen full of good doin’s and alms deeds, who make up two thirds of the church, who raise the minister’s salary, run the missionary and temperance societies, teach the Sabbath schools, etc., etc., etc.—­

“Who give the best of their lives and thoughts to the meetin’-house from the time they sell button-hole bokays at church fairs in pantalettes, till they hand in their widder’s mite with tremblin’ fingers wrinkled with age—­think of this econimy in not givin’ in, not givin’ a mite of justice and right to the hull caboodle of such wimmen throughout the length and breadth of the country, and then think where would your very closest and tightest counsel of econimy stand by the side of this econimy of right, and manliness, and honor, and common sense.”

He quailed.  His head sunk on his breast.  He knew, tight as he had always been, there wuz a height of tightness he had never scaled.  He knew he couldn’t show off at that Equinomical Counsel by the side of them instances I had brung up, and to deepen the impression I had made, which is always the effort of the great oriter, I resoomed: 

“Think of how they keep up their econimy of justice, and right, and common sense, so afraid to use a speck of ’em, especially the common sense.  Think of how they refused to let wimmen set down meekly in a humble pew, and say ‘Yea’ in a still small voice as a delegate, so ‘fraid that it wuz outstrippin’ wimmen’s proper spear—­when these very ministers have been proud to open their very biggest meetin’-housen to wimmen, and let ’em teach ’em to be eloquent—­let wimmen speak words of help and wisdom from their highest pulpits.

“Think of this instance of their equinomical doin’s,” sez I, “and tremble.  And,” sez I, still more impressively and eloquently, “what is pumpkins by the side of that?”

His head sunk down lower, and lower.  He wuz dumbfoundered to think he had been outdone in his most vital parts, his most tightest ways.  He felt truly that even if they would listen to his equinomical counsels, they didn’t need ’em.