to tother, ’at shoo defies awther yo or onybody
else to tell ’at shoo’s nobbut a calico
wayver when shoo’s at hooam. But they get
aside o’th’ watter at last. “Ha!
what a wopper!” says one o’th’ lads,
as a wave comes rollin’ ovver. “A’a!
but that’s a gurter!” says another.
Then th’ father an’ th’ mother puts
th’ young uns all in a row, an’ tell ‘em
all to luk at th’ sea—as if ther wor
owt else to luk at i’ Blackpool. But yo
may see at th’ owd lass isn’t comfortable,
for shoo keeps peepin’ into her basket, an’
at last shoo says, “Joa—aw believe
sombdy’s had ther fooit i’th’ basket,
for th’ pasty’s brusscn, an th’
pot wi’ th’ mustard in is brockken all
to bits.” “Neer heed, if that’s
all, its noa war for being mix’d a bit; it’s
all to goa into one shop.” As sooin as
owt to ait is mentioned, th’ childer’s
hungry in a minit-even th’ lass’ at’s
been peraidin’ abaat an’ couldn’t
fashion to stand aside ov her brothers an’ sisters
coss they wor soa short o’ manners—draws
a bit nearer th’ mother’s elbow. Daan
they sit like a owd hen an’ her chickens, an’
dooant they put it aat o’th’ seet?
It means nowt if th’ mustard an’ th’
pickled onions have getten on th’ apple pasty
or potted mait an’ presarved tairts squeezed
all into one—they’re noan nasty nice;
an’ then th’ bottle’s passed raand:
cold tea flavored wi rum, an sweetened, wol th’
childer can hardly leave lawse when they’ve
once getten hold. An’ wol they’re
enjoyin’ thersen this way, th’ owd chap’s
blowin’ his bacca, an’ tak’s a pool
ivery nah and then at a little bottle, abaat th’
size ov a prayer book, ’at he hugs in his side
pocket. After this they mun have a sail i’
one o’th’ booats, an’ in they get,
tumellin’ one over t’other, an’ bargain
wi’ th’ chap for a gooid haar.
Th’ owd chap pools his watch aat an mak’s
sure o’th’ time when they start, an’
away they goa like a burd. “Isn’t
it grand?” says furst one an’ then another.
But in a bit th’ owd chap puts his pipe aat
an’ tak’s another pool at th’ little
bottle, an’ his wife’s face grows a deeal
leeter coloured, an’ shoo axes him ha’
long they’ve to goa yet? Aat comes th’
watch, an’ they’re capt to find ‘at
they’ve nobbut been fifteen minutes, an’
th’ owdest lass lains ovver th’ side,
an’ after coughin’ a time or two begins
to feed th’ fish, an’ th’ little
uns come to lig ther heeads o’ ther mother’s
knees, but shoo tells ’em to sit o’th’
seeat, for shoo connot bide to be bothered; then shoo
tak’s a fancy to luk ovver th’ edge, an’
ther’s another meal for th’ fish.
Th’ owd chap’s detarmined to stand it
aat, soa he shuts his e’en, an screws up his
maath wol it’s hardly as big as a thripny bit—then
his watch comes aat agean, an’ he sighs to find
they’ve nobbut been one hauf ther time.
Th’ chaps i’th’ boat see ha’
matters stand, an’ bring’ em back as sooin
as they con. Aat they get, an’ th’
brass is paid withaat a word; but th’ owd woman
shakes her heead an’ says, “Niver noa moor!
It’s a dear doo! Sixpence a piece, an’
all th’ potted mait an’ th’ apple
pasty wasted.”


