“By gingo, aw’m done this time!” said Jim, as he tuk it in his arms an’ kust it.  “Aa, what a fooil aw’ve been! tha’ll forgie me, lass, weant ta?”

“Sure aw will, Jim,” shoo sed.  An’ after that they lived happily together, as all dacent fowk should.

Winter.

Winter’s comin’!  Top coits an’ nickerbockers begin to be sowt up.  A chap enjoys his bed a bit better, an’ doesn’t like gettin’ up in a mornin’ quite as weel.  Tawkin’ abaat enjoyin’ bed makes me think ova young chap aat o’ Midgley at’ gate wed an’ browt his wife to Halifax to buy a bed, an’ nowt wod suit her but a shut-up en, like her father an’ mother had allus had:  an’ they wor’t long befoor they fun a second-hand en, ‘at they gate cheap, an’ as they knew a chap ’at coam wi’ a milk cart throo near whear they lived, they gate him to tak it hooam for ’em, an’ it worn’t long befoor th’ beddin’ an’ all wor nicely arranged, an’ they war snoozelin’ under th’ blankets.  They hadn’t been asleep long befoor he wakken’d wi a varry uncomfortabie feelin’, but as his wife wor hard asleep he didn’t like to disturb her.  He roll’d o’ one side an’ then o’th’ tother, an’ rub’d his legs an’ scratched his back, but he couldn’t settle do what he wod.  In a bit summat made him jump straight up ov an end, an’ if he hadn’t been dacently browt up, it’s very likely he mud ha’ sed some faal words, Wi’ him jumpin’ up soa sudden, th’ wife wakken’d, an’ jumpt up as weel, but as th’ bed heead war abaat six inch lower nor that shoo’d bin used to, shoo hit her neet cap agean th’ top an’ fell back wi a reglar sass.  “Whativer is ther to do, Sammy,” shoo sed, as sooin as shoo could spaik, “strike a leet’ wi ta!” Sammy gate a leet, an’ blushed an ovver his face, for it wor th’ fust time onybody had seen him dressed that way sin he wor a little lad.  “Aw dooant know what ther is to do,” he sed, “but aw cannot bide i’ that bed, an’ that’s a fact.”  “What!” shoo says, “are ta ruein’ o’ thi bargain bi nah? but tha’s no need to freat, for aw con spare thee at ony time.”  “Nay, Jenny,” he sed, it’s nooan thee ’at maks me uneasy, but aw fancy ther’s summat wick i’ that bed besides thee an’ me.’  “Is ther,” shoo said, an’ shoo flew off one side; “why whativer is it, thinks ta?” Sammy turned daan th’ clooas, an’ it just luk’d as if sombdy had been aitin’ spice cake an’ letten all th’ currans drop aat.  Tawk abaat fleas!  They worn’t fleas! they wor twice as big, an’ they wor marchin’ away like a rigiment o’ sodgers.  He stared wi’ all th’ een in his heead, an’ shoo started a cryin’.  “A’a, to think ’at aw should iver come to this, to be walked over wi’ a lot o’ pouse like that!  What mun we do?” “Do! we mun catch ’em, aw expect,” he sed, an’ he began wi pickin’ ’em off one bi one, an’ droppin’ ’em into some water ’at wor cloise by.  “Well, mi mother tell’d me,” he sed, “‘at when fowk gate wed they began o’ ther troubles; an’ it’s true an’ all, but aw didn’t expect owt like this, for if aw’d known, aw’d