“‘Never mind,’ I said to him with a wink at Ruggles, ’I warrant there’s some little girl who won’t laugh at you when you get back home.  She has more to be proud of now than your face.’

“‘Then you’re wrong, Sergeant,’ he answered quietly.  ’She’s changed her mind.  She’s his girl now.’

“I looked at Ruggles.  He wouldn’t catch my eye, but a blush was working round towards his neck.

“‘And I’ve changed my mind too,’ said Jenks.  ’D’you think I’d have taken those risks I took to-day if there was a girl at home worrying over every casualty list?  A man’s a fool to risk breaking a heart to try to get a medal.’

“‘Ay, that’s the way you look at it,’ said Ruggles, as red as beetroot.  ’But I bet the Sergeant’s glad she’s changed her mind.  I never knew your equal for a clammy coward, Jim, before she chucked you up.’

“Jenks began to look black.  ‘There were two of us, anyway,’ he said.

“‘P’r’aps there were,’ Ruggles agreed cheerily.  ’But what’s the good of making a show of your soldiering unless there’s someone at home looking on and caring?’”

* * * * *

[Illustration:  =INTENSIVE CULTURE FOR FLAT-DWELLERS.= SOWING EARLY MUSTARD AND CRESS ON WINTER UNDERCLOTHING.]

* * * * *

    “The National War Savings Committee is issuing a two-penny cookery
    book, giving a host of simple remedies for economical dishes.”
    Birmingham Daily Mail.

Some of them do upset the internal economy, no doubt.

* * * * *

“St. Quentin Canal, in spite of the damage reported to have been done to it by the Germans, will probably still be an important military obstacle.  It is, for instance, when full of water, over eight feet deep.” Daily News.

When full of beer it becomes absolutely impassable.

* * * * *

Extract from a regimental notice:—­

“I am glad to inform you that a Special Order ... guarantees your admission to this Regiment on your release from the Postal Service....  If attested and passed into Class A for Service, you should apply to your Recruiting Officer, who will post you and forward you here on an A.F.  B. 216.”

An appropriate and convenient arrangement.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  =ERIN TAKES A TURN AT HER OWN HARP.=

WITH MR. PUNCH’S SINCERE GOOD WISHES FOR THE SUCCESS OF THE IRISH
CONVENTION.]

* * * * *

[Illustration:  IN HAPPY DAYS TO COME.

Non-Politician (in remote country-house, to wife on her midnight return from county town).

“MABEL, YOU’VE BEEN VOTING.”]

* * * * *

=ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.=