The Hostess’s Invitations.—­It often happens that a hostess has invitations not extended to her visitor.  She may have accepted; before her guest’s arrival, an invitation to dinner, card party or luncheon.  In neither of these may she ask to have her guests included.  They are formal functions for which arrangements are made long in advance.  She may say to an intimate friend who is giving a musical or an “At home” or any informal affair, that she has a visitor staying with her, and the friend will no doubt extend an invitation to the latter.  It is proper for host and hostess to accept invitations in which a guest is not included if they make some provision for her pleasure during their absence.

She may be asked to invite some friend to dine with her, or someone provided to take her to the theatre.  Nor has she a right to feel affronted at being left at home.

One thing must be carefully avoided, the hostess must not let her guest feel, for one moment, that she is the cause of inconvenience or trouble.  Even if she is, the fact must be sedulously concealed.  Bear with the annoyance until the visit ceases; then do not invite her again.  It is the hostess’s privilege to invite; having invited she must not allow her equanimity to be disturbed.

[Manners and social customs 715]

The obligations of A guest.

If it is the duty of the hostess to be attentive to the comfort of her guest, there is quite as much obligation resting on the guest to show a disposition to be pleased and to make herself agreeable.  Some women—­young girls more particularly—­seem to think too much cannot be done for their entertainment.  They make themselves burdensome by their wish to have “something doing” all the time.  The visitor who conveys the impression that she is neglected unless some festivity is in the immediate future easily becomes tiresome.

The guest should accommodate herself to the ways of the family.  Especially should she be punctual at meals and ready on time when going out with her friends.  Her host may acquire a dislike to her if she keeps him waiting.  She should always be neatly dressed, never appearing at the breakfast table in kimona or dressing-jacket if men will be present.  She should respect the privileges of the host, not occupying his easy chair, appropriating the newspaper or the best position round the lamp.  She should give as little trouble as possible and be especially careful about scattering her belongings about the house.  This particularly applies to young girls, who are apt to be careless in this respect.  It annoys a hostess to find Missy’s rubbers kicked off in the hall, her hat on the piano, and a half eaten box of candy on the parlor sofa.