It seems to have been at some time after this, and probably in Act III., that Titterby went, if I may put it so vulgarly, off the hooks.  I think he must have got on to the conference between the mineowners and the representatives of the miners, and struggled until the gas became too thick for him.  At any rate, after several unreadable pages, the following unhappy fragment stands out clear:—­

“Mr. SMILLIE still stands irresolute, running his fingers
through his hair.

Chorus of Mineowners (pointing at him).

Ruffled hair requires, I ween,
Something in the brilliantine
Or else in the pomatum line. 
How shall we devise a balm
Mr. SMILLIE’S locks to calm? 
Hullo! here comes the Datum-Line!

Enter Datum-Line. (_? can Datum-Line be personified? ? comic.
? check trousers. ? red whiskers._)”

Nothing more has been written, and it must have been at this point, I suppose, that Titterby got up and assaulted his piano.  It all seems very sad.

EVOE.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  A PROSPECTIVE JONAH?

THE CAPTAIN (to Sir ERIC GEDDES).  “I SOMETIMES WONDER WHETHER A MAN OF
YOUR ABILITY OUGHT NOT TO FIND A BETTER OPENING.”

[It is rumoured that the Ministry of Transport is to have a limited existence.]]

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Lady. “NO COD LEFT, MR. BROWN?”

Fishmonger (confidentially).  “WELL, MRS. SNIPPS, I’LL OBLIGE YOU.  I ALWAYS KEEPS A BIT UP MY SLEEVE FOR REG’LAR CUSTOMERS.”]

* * * * *

CONSOLATION.

  You may be very ugly and freckledy and small
  And have a little stubby nose that’s not a nose at all;
  You may be bad at spelling and you may be worse at sums,
  You may have stupid fingers that your Nanna says are thumbs,
  And lots of things you look for you may never, never find,
  But if you love the fairies—­you don’t mind.

  You may be rather frightened when you read of wolves and bears
  Or when you pass the cupboard-place beneath the attic stairs;
  You may not always like it when thunder makes a noise
  That seems so much, much bigger than little girls and boys;
  You may feel rather lonely when you waken in the night,
  But if the fairies love you—­it’s all right.

R.F.

* * * * *

     “I trust it may be sufficient to convince readers that Mr.
    Chesterton is CONTINUED AT FOOT OF NEXT COLUMN.”

     Sunday Paper.

At last the ever-recurring problem of where to put the rest of Mr. CHESTERTON has been solved.

* * * * *

THE LITTLE MOA

(and how much it is).