This was a dark time indeed for Natalie Lind—­left entirely by herself, ignorant of what was happening around her, and haunted by vague alarms.  But the girl was too proud to show to any one how much she suffered.  On the contrary, she reasoned and remonstrated with herself; and forced herself to assume an attitude of something more than resignation, of resolution.  If it was necessary that her father should be obeyed, that her lover should maintain this cruel silence, even that he and she should have the wide Atlantic separate them forever, she would not repine.  It was not for her who had so often appealed to others to shrink from sacrifice herself.  And if this strange new hope that had filled her heart for a time had to be finally abandoned, what of that?  What mattered a single life?  She had the larger hope; there was another and greater future for her to think about; and she could cherish the thought that she at least had done nothing to imperil or diminish the work to which so many of her friends had given their lives.

But silence is hard to bear.  Ever since the scene with her father, a certain undeclared estrangement had prevailed between these two; and no reference whatsoever had been made to George Brand.  Her lover had sent her no message—­no word of encouragement, of assurance, or sympathy.  Even Calabressa had gone.  There remained to her only the portrait that Calabressa had given her; and in the solitude of her own room many a time she sat and gazed at the beautiful face with some dim, wondering belief that she was looking at her other self, and that she could read in the features some portion of her own experiences, her own joys and sorrows.  For surely those soft, dark, liquid eyes must have loved and been beloved?  And had they too filled with gladness when a certain step had been heard coming near? and they looked up with trust and pride and tenderness, and filled with tears again in absence, when only the memory of loving words remained?  She recalled many a time what Calabressa had said to her—­“My child, may Heaven keep you as true and brave as your mother was, and send you more happiness.”  Her mother, then, had not been happy?  But she was brave, Calabressa had said:  when she loved a man, would she not show herself worthy of her love?

This was all very well; but in spite of her reasoning and her forced courage, and her self-possession in the presence of others, Natalie had got into the habit of crying in the quietude of her own room, to the great distress of the little Anneli, who had surprised her once or twice.  And the rosy-cheeked German maid guessed pretty accurately what had happened; and wondered very much at the conduct of English lovers, who allowed their sweethearts to pine and fret in solitude without sending them letters or coming to see them.  But on this particular afternoon Anneli opened the door, in answer to a summons, and found outside a club commissionaire whom she had seen once or twice before; and when he gave her a letter, addressed in a handwriting which she recognized, and ask for an answer, she was as much agitated as if it had come from her own sweetheart in Gorlitz.  She snatched it from the man, as if she feared he would take it back.  She flew with it up-stairs, breathless.  She forgot to knock at the door.