The farmer by this time was convinced I must be a rational creature.  He spoke often to me, but the sound of his voice pierced my ears like that of a water-mill, yet his words were articulate enough.  I answered as loud as I could in several languages, and he often laid his ear within two yards of me; but all in vain, for we were wholly unintelligible to each other.  He then sent his servants to their work, and taking his handkerchief out of his pocket, he doubled and spread it on his left hand, which he placed flat on the ground, with the palm upwards, making me a sign to step into it, as I could easily do, for it was not above a foot in thickness.

I thought it my part to obey, and, for fear of falling, laid myself at full length upon the handkerchief, with the remainder of which he lapped me up to the head for farther security, and in this manner carried me home to his house.  There he called his wife, and showed me to her; but she screamed and ran back, as women in England do at the sight of a toad or a spider.  However, when she had awhile seen my behavior, and how well I observed the signs her husband made, she was soon reconciled, and by degrees grew extremely tender of me.

It was about twelve at noon, and a servant brought in dinner.  It was only one substantial dish of meat (fit for the plain condition of an husbandman) in a dish of about four-and-twenty feet diameter.  The company were the farmer and his wife, three children, and an old grandmother.  When they were sat down, the farmer placed me at some distance from him on the table, which was thirty feet high from the floor.  I was in a terrible fright, and kept as far as I could from the edge for fear of falling.  The wife minced a bit of meat, then crumbled some bread on a trencher,[45] and placed it before me.  I made her a low bow, took out my knife and fork, and fell to eat, which gave them exceeding delight.

The mistress sent her maid for a small dram cup, which held about three gallons, and filled it with drink:  I took up the vessel with much difficulty in both hands, and in a most respectful manner drank to her ladyship’s health, expressing the words as loud as I could in English, which made the company laugh so heartily that I was almost deafened by the noise.  This liquor tasted like a small cider, and was not unpleasant.  Then the master made me a sign to come to his trencher-side; but as I walked on the table, being in great surprise all the time, as the indulgent reader will easily conceive and excuse, I happened to stumble against a crust, and fell flat on my face, but received no hurt.  I got up immediately, and observing the good people to be in much concern, I took my hat (which I held under my arm out of good manners), and, waving it over my head, made three huzzas, to show that I had got no mischief by my fall.