and turned up like two hornes towards the forehead.  Besides that, when they come to the cutting of the haire, what snipping and snapping of the cycers is there, what tricking and toying, and all to tawe out mony, you may be sure.  And when they come to washing, oh how gingerly they behave themselves therein.  For then shall your mouth be bossed with the lather or fome that riseth of the balle (for they have their sweet balles wherewith-all they use to washe), your eyes closed must be anointed therewith also.  Then snap go the fingers ful bravely, God wot.  Thus this tragedy ended, comes me warme clothes, to wipe and dry him withall; next the eares must be picked and closed againe togither artificially forsooth.  The haire of the nostrils cut away, and every thing done in order comely to behold.  The last action in this tragedie is the paiment of monie.  And least these cunning barbers might seeme unconscionable in asking much for their paines, they are of such a shamefast modestie, as they will aske nothing at all, but standing to the curtisie and liberalitie of the giver, they will receive all that comes, how much soever it be, not giving anie againe, I warrant you:  for take a barber with that fault, and strike off his head.  No, no, such fellowes are Rarae aves in terris, nigrisque similimi cygnis, Rare birds upon the earth, and as geason as blacke swans.  You shall have also your orient perfumes for your nose, your fragrant waters for your face, wherewith you shall bee all to besprinkled, your musicke againe, and pleasant harmonic, shall sound in your eares, and all to tickle the same with vaine delight.  And in the end your cloke shall be brushed, and ’God be with you Gentleman!’"[165]

  [165] Reprint for the Shakspere Society, Part ii (1882),
        pp. 50, 51.

* * * * *

A very curious Ballad of the Beard, of the time of Charles I, if not earlier, is reproduced in Satirical Songs and Poems on Costume, edited by F. W. Fairholt, for the Percy Society, in which “the varied forms of beards which characterised the profession of each man are amusingly descanted on”: 

  The beard, thick or thin, on the lip or the chin,
    Doth dwell so near the tongue,
  That her silence in the beards defence
    May do her neighbour wrong.

  Now a beard is a thing that commands in a king,
    Be his sceptre ne’er so fair: 
  Where the beard bears the sway the people obey,
    And are subject to a hair.

  ’Tis a princely sight, and a grave delight,
    That adorns both young and old;
  A well-thatcht face is a comely grace,
    And a shelter from the cold.

  When the piercing north comes thundering forth,
    Let a barren face beware;
  For a trick it will find, with a razor of wind,
    To shave a face that’s bare.

  But there’s many a nice and strange device
    That doth the beard disgrace;
  But he that is in such a foolish sin
    Is a traitor to his face.