This cleansing frolic over, matters begin to resume their pristine appearance:  the storm abates, and all would be well again; but it is impossible that so great a convulsion in so small a community should pass over without producing some consequences.  For two or three weeks after the operation, the family are usually afflicted with sore eyes, sore throats, or severe colds, occasioned by exhalations from wet floors and damp walls.

I know a gentleman here who is fond of accounting for everything in a philosophical way.  He considers this, what I call a custom, as a real periodical disease peculiar to the climate.  His train of reasoning is whimsical and ingenious, but I am not at leisure to give you the detail.  The result was, that he found the distemper to be incurable; but after much study, he thought he had discovered a method to divert the evil he could not subdue.  For this purpose, he caused a small building, about twelve feet square, to be erected in his garden, and furnished with some ordinary chairs and tables, and a few prints of the cheapest sort.  His hope was, that when the whitewashing frenzy seized the females of his family, they might repair to this apartment, and scrub, and scour, and smear to their hearts’ content; and so spend the violence of the disease in this outpost, whilst he enjoyed himself in quiet at headquarters.  But the experiment did not answer his expectation.  It was impossible it should, since a principal part of the gratification consists in the lady’s having an uncontrolled right to torment her husband at least once in every year; to turn him out of doors, and take the reins of government into her own hands.

There is a much better contrivance than this of the philosopher’s; which is, to cover the walls of the house with paper.  This is generally done.  And though it does not abolish, it at least shortens the period of female dominion.  This paper is decorated with various fancies; and made so ornamental that the women have admitted the fashion without perceiving the design.

There is also another alleviation to the husband’s distress.  He generally has the sole use of a small room or closet for his books and papers, the key of which he is allowed to keep.  This is considered as a privileged place, even in the whitewashing season, and stands like the land of Goshen amidst the plagues of Egypt.  But then he must be extremely cautious, and ever upon his guard; for, should he inadvertently go abroad and leave the key in his door, the housemaid, who is always on the watch for such an opportunity, immediately enters in triumph with buckets, brooms, and brushes—­takes possession of the premises, and forthwith puts an his books and papers “to rights,” to his utter confusion, and sometimes serious detriment.

Notes.—­Lear.—­The reference is to Shakespeare’s tragedy, Act iii, Scene 2.

Goshen.—­The portion of Egypt settled by Jacob and his family.  In the Bible, Exodus viii, 22, Goshen was exempted from the plague of the flies.