And one never reads it.  That’s the best of all.

A.P.H.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  NATIONAL RESEARCH.

THE DAILY QUEST, EVER WITH ITS FINGER ON THE PUBLIC PULSE, SENDS A SPECIAL COMMISSIONER TO OUR HOLIDAY RESORTS TO DISCOVER WHICH HAS THE NICEST NECKS.]

* * * * *

[Illustration:  The Cheerful One. “CONGRATULATIONS, OLD CHAP, ON FINDING YOUR GAME AGAIN.”

Club Grouser. “FINDING MY GAME!  WHY, I’VE JUST OFFERED TO SELL EVERY DAMNED CLUB IN MY BAG.”

The Cheerful One. “YES, I KNOW.  BUT YESTERDAY YOU WERE GIVING THEM AWAY.”]

* * * * *

PRONE.

To the Editor of “Punch."

SIR,—­I am an architect (of forty-three years’ standing) and I like to keep au courant with everything in the world of building (or of being about to build).  Consequently anything new in constructional material interests me, and in this connection I would like to ask you what is or what are Prone?  I have only seen it (or them) mentioned once, and from the context I gather that the word “prone” stands for the plural of “prone” (as “grouse” is the plural of “grouse,” and as “house” might well stand for the plural of “house” nowadays, considering the shortage of dwellings), and that it (or they) is (or are) used either as a floor covering or otherwise in connection with working on the floor or ground.

My reason for so thinking is contained in the following interesting item, culled from a well-known daily newspaper:—­

    “There is in London one man at least who works hard every day and has
    to lay prone to do it.

He may be seen daily in the cloisters of Westminster Abbey re-cutting the names on the flagged gravestones which have been worn by countless pilgrims’ feet.  He has picked out many illustrious names, and others are to follow.”

The sex and species of this hard-worker preclude the notion of any oviparous act, and I take it that one “lays prone” as one lays a mat or strip of carpet, for the purpose of facilitating labour that is done on the knees or stomach.  If I am right I should like to get my builder to order some for his workmen absolutely at once.

Anything which would help to defeat the Trade Unions in their fight against speeding-up would be a blessing, especially to the architectural world, so perhaps you will be good enough to enlighten me on the nature of Prone, and where obtainable.

Believe me, Yours very gravely,
ONESIMUS STONE (F.R.I.B.A.).

* * * * *

From an American book on “How and What to Read":—­

“Other great American short story writers include Bret Harte, Edward Everett Hale, Frank Stockton, and Mary E. Wilkins.  With these may be included Thomas Hardy’s ‘Life’s Little Ironies,’ which are full of fun.”

Mr. HARDY will be glad, no doubt, to add this little irony to his collection.