LABOUR-SAVING.

    ["Electric bore, one man, portable.”—­Trade Journal.]

  Though not a scientific bean
  I am occasionally seen
  Scanning a technic magazine.

  I love to learn of any wheeze
  Wherewith to win by quick degrees
  A rich sufficiency of ease.

  And so it thrilled me to the core
  To read the phrase, “Electric bore,”
  And think of happy days in store.

  In former times I’d often start
  Abroad with eagerness of heart
  To patronise dramatic art;

  Only at curtain’s fall to come
  Homeward again, dejected, glum,
  And overwhelmed by tedium.

  With ennui verging on distress
  I’d witnessed from the circle (dress)
  Some transatlantic HUGE SUCCESS;

  Or else some play of Irish life,
  Ending with father, son and wife
  Impaled upon a single knife;

  Or haply I had chanced to choose
  Some even surer source of blues,
  One of the things they call revues.

  But now those times are passed away;
  Electric bores have come to stay;
  I mean to purchase one to-day.

  I don’t know how it works, but an
  Authority declares it can
  Be guided by a single man.

  I have in mind a little niche
  Beside my study window which
  Will just accommodate the switch.

  Henceforth abroad no more I’ll roam,
  But turn it on at evening’s gloam
  And yawn my time away at home.

* * * * *

OUR GO-AHEAD MUNICIPALITIES.

    “Visitors to ——­ this summer need not fear want of recreation, for the
    Urban Council on Wednesday granted an application by Mr. ——­ for leave
    to place an additional donkey on the beach.”—­Provincial Paper.

* * * * *

    “Mr. Taylor, who had relieved Mr. Higgins, here had the misfortune to
    see Seymour badly hit over the right eye on attempting to hook one of
    his rising deliveries.”—­Daily Paper.

SEYMOUR, we understand, sympathised warmly with Mr. TAYLOR over this piece of bad luck.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  MANNERS AND MODES.

DARBY AND JOAN (FOR THE PREVAILING EPIDEMIC SPARES NEITHER AGE NOR VIRTUE)
FAIL TO FIND THE WINNER OF THE 2.30.]

* * * * *

[Illustration:  AT WIMBLEDON.

Umpire. “FORTY, THIRTY, SLASHER.”

Diana (fresh from Ascot).  “PUT ME THIRTY SHILLINGS ON.”]

* * * * *

A DOG’S LIFE.