Cui deorum?

      To what deity?

Erg.

  Mi hercle, nam ego nunc tibi sum summus Iuppiter,
  idem ego sum Salus, Fortuna, Lux, Laetitia, Gaudium.
  proin tu deum hunc saturitate facias tranquillum tibi.

To me, by gad!  For I’m your Jupiter Most High now, myself; and Salvation, Fortune, Light, Gladness, Joy—­they’re all this identical I!  So mind you placate this divinity by stuffing him full.

Hegio

  Esurire mihi videre.

      You need food, I fancy.

Erg.

  Mi quidem esurio, non tibi.

      No sir, I need food I fancy, not food you fancy.

Hegio

  Tuo arbitratu, facile patior.

      (smiling) Have it your own way:  I’m perfectly willing
      to—­crawl.

Erg.

  Credo, consuetu’s puer.

      Crawl?  I believe you:  it’s a habit you—­fell into—­as a
      child.

Hegio

  Iuppiter te dique perdant.

      (disgusted) Oh, you be damned, sir!

Erg.

  Te hercle—­mi aequom est gratias
  agere ob nuntium; tantum ego nunc porto a portu tibi boni: 
  nunc tu mihi places.

      And by Jove, you be—­grateful to me, as you ought, for my
      news.  The glorious news from the port I’m just reporting! 
      Now your dinner begins to tempt me.

Hegio

  Abi, stultu’s, sero post tempus venis. 870

      Be off, you idiot:  you’re behind time, you have come too
      late.

Erg.

Igitur olim si advenissem, magis tu tum istuc diceres; nunc hanc laetitiam accipe a me, quam fero. nam filium tuom modo in portu Philopolemum vivom, salvom et sospitem vidi in publica celoce, ibidemque illum adulescentulum Aleum una et tuom Stalagmum servom, qui aufugit domo, qui tibi surripuit quadrimum puerum filiolum tuom.

Well, if I had come before, then you’d have had more reason to say that. (slowly and portentously) Now, sir, prepare for the ecstasy of which I am the vehicle.  A few minutes ago at the harbour your son, your son Philopolemus, alive, safe and sound,—­I saw him, saw him in a despatch boat, and along with him that young Elean and your slave Stalagmus that stole your little four year old boy.

Hegio

  Abi in malam rem, ludis me.

      To the devil with you!  You’re making fun of me.

Erg.

  Ita me amabit sancta Saturitas,
  Hegio, itaque suo me semper condecoret cognomine,
  ut ego vidi.

      So help me Holy Stuffing, so may she grace me with her name
      for evermore—­I did see them, Hegio!

Hegio

  Meum gnatum?

      (sceptically) My son?