far more impartial than, in moments of disappointment,
we are apt to admit, and quite as often procures
us unexpected and unthought-of pleasures as defeats
those we had proposed for ourselves. Pazienza!
Dear Dall, who, I see, has produced her invariable
impression upon your mind, bids me thank you
for the kind things you say of her, at the same
time that she says, “though they are undeserved,
she is thankful for the affection that dictates
them.” She is excellent. You
bid me tell you of my father, and how his health and
spirits continue to struggle against his exertions
and anxieties: tolerably well, thank God!
I sometimes think they have the properties of that
palm tree which is said to grow under the pressure
of immense weights. He looks very well,
and, except the annoyances of his position in
the theater, has rather less cause for depression than
for some time past. Though we have not yet
obtained our “decree,” we understand
that the Lord Chancellor says openly that we shall
get it, so that uncertainty of the issue no longer
aggravates the wearisome delays of this unlucky
appeal.... I need not tell you what my feeling
about acting Queen Katharine is; you, who know how
conscious I am of my own deficiencies for such
an undertaking, will easily conceive my distress
at having such a task assigned me. Dall,
who entirely agrees with me about it, wishes me to
remonstrate upon the subject, but that I will
not do. I am in that theater to earn my
living by serving its interests, and if I was desired
to act Harlequin, for those two purposes, should feel
bound to do so. But I cannot help thinking
the management short-sighted. I think their
real interest, as far as I am concerned, which they
overlook for some immediate tangible advantage,
is not to destroy my popularity by putting me
into parts which I must play ill, and not to
take from my future career characters which require
physical as well as mental maturity, and which
would be my natural resources when I no longer
become Juliet and her youthful sisters of the drama.
But of course they know their own affairs, and I am
not the manager of the theater. Those who
have its direction, I suppose, make the best
use they can of their instruments.
[My performance of Queen Katharine was not condemned
as an absolute failure only because the public in
general didn’t care about it, and the friends
and well-wishers of the theater were determined not
to consider it one. But as I myself remember
it, it deserved to be called nothing else; it was
a school-girl’s performance, tame, feeble, and
ineffective, entirely wanting in the weight and dignity
indispensable for the part, and must sorely have tried
the patience and forbearance of such of my spectators
as were fortunate and unfortunate enough to remember
my aunt; one of whom, her enthusiastic admirer, and
my excellent friend, Mr. Harness, said that seeing
me in that dress was like looking at Mrs. Siddons
through the diminishing end of an opera-glass: