Wood. Thus am I ever tantalized! [Goes in.

  Enter BRAINSICK.

Brain. What, am I become your drudge? your slave? the property of all your pleasures?  Shall I, the lord and master of your life, become subservient; and the noble name of husband be dishonoured?  No, though all the cards were kings and queens, and Indies to be gained by every deal—­

Mrs Brain. My dear, I am coming to do my duty.  I did but go up a little, (I whispered you for what) and am returning immediately.

Brain. Your sex is but one universal ordure, a nuisance, and incumbrance of that majestic creature, man:  yet I myself am mortal too.  Nature’s necessities have called me up; produce your utensil of urine.

Mrs Brain. It is not in the way, child:  You may go down into the garden.

Brain. The voyage is too far:  though the way were paved with pearls and diamonds, every step of mine is precious, as the march of monarchs.

Mrs Brain. Then my steps, which are not so precious, shall be employed for you:  I will call up Judith.

Brain. I will not dance attendance.  At the present, your closet shall be honoured.

Mrs Brain. O lord, dear, it is not worthy to receive such a man as you are.

Brain. Nature presses; I am in haste.

Mrs Brain. He must be discovered, and I unavoidably undone!
          
                                                   [Aside.
                            [BRAINSICK goes to the door, and WOODALL
                             meets him:  She shrieks out.

Brain. Monsieur Woodall!

Wood. Sir, begone, and make no noise, or you will spoil all.

Brain. Spoil all, quotha! what does he mean, in the name of wonder?

Wood. [Taking him aside.] Hark you, Mr Brainsick, is the devil in you, that you and your wife come hither, to disturb my intrigue, which you yourself engaged me in, with Mrs Tricksy, to revenge you on Limberham?  Why, I had made an appointment with her here; but, hearing somebody come up, I retired into the closet, till I was satisfied it was not the keeper.

Brain. But why this intrigue in my wife’s chamber?

Wood. Why, you turn my brains, with talking to me of your wife’s chamber! do you lie in common? the wife and husband, the keeper and the mistress?

Mrs Brain. I am afraid they are quarrelling; pray heaven I get off.

Brain. Once again, I am the sultan of this place:  Mr Limberham is the mogul of the next mansion.

Wood. Though I am a stranger in the house, it is impossible I should be so much mistaken:  I say, this is Limberham’s lodging.

Brain. You would not venture a wager of ten pounds, that you are not mistaken?