BLUE HOSE.  And she is so pretty, so exquisite!  What a law!  What an outrageous law!

YELLOW HOSE.  Outrageous law!  How dare you!  There is nothing so necessary to the welfare of the nation as our art.  Good cooks make good tempers, don’t they?  Must not the queen set an example for the other women to follow?  Did not our fathers and our grandfathers before us judge the dishes of the previous queens of hearts?

BLUE HOSE.  I wish I were mixing the rolls for to-morrow’s breakfast.

YELLOW HOSE.  Bah!  You are fit for nothing else.  The affairs of state are beyond you.

(Distant sound of trumpets.)

BLUE HOSE (nervously).  What’s that?

YELLOW HOSE.  The King is approaching!  The ceremonies are about to commence!

BLUE HOSE.  Is everything ready?

YELLOW HOSE.  I told you that everything was ready.  Stand still; you are as white as a stalk of celery.

BLUE HOSE (counting on his fingers).  Apples, lemons, peaches, jam—­Jam!  Did you forget jam?

YELLOW HOSE.  Zounds, I did!

BLUE HOSE (wailing).  We are lost!

YELLOW HOSE.  She may not call for it.

(Both stand very erect and make a desperate effort to appear calm.)

BLUE HOSE (very nervous).  Which door?  Which door?

YELLOW HOSE.  The big one, idiot.  Be still!

(The sound of trumpets increases, and cries of “Make way for the King.”  Two HERALDS come in and stand on either side of the door.  The KING OF HEARTS enters, followed by ladies and gentlemen of the court. POMPDEBILE is in full regalia, and very imposing indeed with his red robe bordered with ermine, his crown and sceptre.  After him comes the CHANCELLOR, an old man with a short, white beard.  The KING strides in a particularly kingly fashion, pointing his toes in the air at every step, toward his throne, and sits down.  The KNAVE walks behind him slowly.  He has a sharp, pale face.)

POMPDEBILE (impressively).  Lords and ladies of the court, this is an important moment in the history of our reign.  The Lady Violetta, whom you love and respect—­that is, I mean to say, whom the ladies love and the lords—­er—­respect, is about to prove whether or not she be fitted to hold the exalted position of Queen of Hearts, according to the law, made a thousand years ago by Pompdebile the Great, and steadily followed ever since.  She will prepare with her own delicate, white hands a dish of pastry.  This will be judged by the two finest pastry cooks in the land.

(BLUE HOSE and YELLOW HOSE bow deeply.)

If their verdict be favorable, she shall ride through the streets of the city on a white palfrey, garlanded with flowers.  She will be crowned, the populace will cheer her, and she will reign by our side, attending to the domestic affairs of the realm, while we give our time to weightier matters.  This of course you all understand is a time of great anxiety for the Lady Violetta.  She will appear worried—­(To CHANCELLOR) The palfrey is in readiness, we suppose.