6.  For this purpose he caused numerous levies to be made, and talked with so much resolution, that it was universally believed he would conquer all before him. 7.  His march perfectly indicated the inequality of his temper; sometimes it was so rapid that the cohorts were obliged to leave their standards behind them; at other times it was so slow, that it more resembled a pompous procession than a military expedition. 8.  In this disposition he would cause himself to be carried on a litter, on eight men’s shoulders, and ordered all the neighbouring cities to have their streets well swept and watered, that he might not be annoyed with dust. 9 However, all these mighty preparations ended in nothing.  Instead of conquering Britain, he merely gave refuge to one of its banished princes; and this he described, in his letter to the senate, as taking possession of the whole island. 10.  Instead of conquering Germany, he only led his army to the seashore in Gaul:  there, disposing his engines and warlike machines with great solemnity, and drawing up his men in order of battle, he went on board his galley, with which coasting along, he commanded his trumpets to sound, and the signal to be given as if for an engagement. 11.  His men, who had previous orders, immediately fell to gathering the shells that lay upon the shore into their helmets, as their spoils of the conquered ocean, worthy of the palace and the capitol. 12.  After this doughty expedition, calling his army together, like a general after victory, he harangued them in a pompous manner, and highly extolled their achievements; then, distributing money among them, and congratulating them upon their riches, he dismissed them, with orders to be joyful:  and, that such exploits should not pass without a memorial, he ordered a lofty tower to be erected by the seaside.[18]

13.  Cassius Cher’ea, a tribune of the Praetorian bands, was the person who at last freed the world from this tyrant.  Besides the motives which he had in common with other men, he had received repeated insults from Calig’ula, who took all occasions of turning him into ridicule, and impeaching him with cowardice, merely because he happened to have an effeminate voice.  Whenever Cher’ea came to demand the watch-word from the emperor, according to custom, he always gave him either Venus, Adonis, or some such, implying softness and effeminacy.

14.  Cher’ea secretly imparted his design to several senators and knights, whom he knew to have received personal injuries from Calig’ula.  While these were deliberating upon the most certain and speedy method of destroying the tyrant, an unexpected incident gave new strength to the conspiracy. 15.  Pempe’dius, a senator of distinction, being accused before the emperor of having spoken of him with disrespect, the informer cited one Quintil’ia, an actress, to confirm the accusation. 16.  Quintil’ia, however, was possessed of a degree of fortitude not frequently found even in the other sex.  She denied