In any case, by the exceptional opportunities he enjoyed for a careful study of leaking cylinder jackets, insulating tape, red-leaded joints and missing engines the intrepid Doctor must have added largely to his knowledge of mechanical science, to say nothing of the botanical discoveries he made when his machine came within a few inches of contact with a banana-tree.

I, for one, look forward eagerly to his return, when he will be able to narrate his experience with a fulness and freedom of language impossible in cabled despatches.

  Yours faithfully,
  STANLEY LIVINGSTONE JONES.

* * * * *

A “MALADE IMAGINAIRE”?

    “Bath-chair wanted, small lady good condition.”—­Ladies’ Paper.

* * * * *

A CHOICE OF SINECURES.

    “LADY-NURSE-HELP; three girls (12, 10, eight); two maids kept; month’s
    holiday (fortnightly); salary L40.”—­Daily Paper.

    “WANTED, a Housemaid, wages 27s. 6d., no duties.”—­New Zealand Paper.

* * * * *

    “Lady would like to Join jolly Family for Dinner every night.”—­Advt.
    in Daily Paper.

Yes, but how long would they remain jolly?

* * * * *

    “Windsor Castle Niggers, from His Majesty’s Chapel Royal, gave an
    excellent programme.”—­Local Paper.

The programme merely announced them as “Windsor Castle Singers,” but this no doubt was to give the audience a greater surprise.

* * * * *

“The revival of the Hunt Ball, and the intelligence that the Race Ball is also to be re-introduced next month, has restored the ——­ dance season to its pre-war brilliance.  The Hunt event passed off with eclair.”—­Local Paper.

Supper seems to have been all right, anyhow.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  A CONVERTED SPIRIT.

GENIUS OF ALCOHOL.  “AND TO THINK THAT I WAS ONCE REGARDED AS AN IMPEDIMENT
TO LOCOMOTION!”]

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Mayfair Copper. “NOW THEN, GET A MOVE ON, TARZAN.  THIS AIN’T A MONKEY NEIGHBOURHOOD.”]

* * * * *

WON ON THE POSTS.

(With the British Army in France.)

The decisive victory of the Racing Club de Petiteville—­late the deuxieme equipage of the Sportif Club de Petiteville—­over the troisieme equipage of the Societe Athletique de Pont Neuf would not appear to have any bearing on the washing of Percival’s collars and pyjamas; but, according to Elfred Fry, there was a poignant connection between the two.