whom I made a bargain for the article required at one shilling and a penny per pair, to be delivered the next day.  At the same time I bought five hundred boxes of Cockle’s pills, and a quantity of toothbrushes.  Well, here I was in Wilmington, with all these valuables on my hands; the corsages were all right, but the horrid little Cockles were bursting their cerements and tumbling about my cabin in all directions.  I was anxious, with the usual gallantry of my cloth, to supply the wants of the ladies first.  The only specimens of the sex that I could see moving about were coloured women, who were so little encumbered with dress that I began to think I was mistaken in the article recommended by my lady friend as being the most required out here.  After waiting some time, and no one coming to bid for my ware, I was meditating putting up on the ship’s side a large board with the name of the article of ladies’ dress written on it—­a pillbox for a crest, and toothbrushes as supporters—­when an individual came on board and inquired whether I wished ‘to trade.’  I greedily seized upon him, took him into my retreat, and made him swallow three glasses of brandy in succession, after which we commenced business.

I will not trouble my reader with the way in which we traded; regarding the corsages, suffice it to say that he bought them all at what seemed to me the enormous price of twelve shillings each, giving me a profit of nearly eleven hundred per cent.

On my asking where the fair wearers of the article he had bought could be seen, he told me that all the ladies had gone into the interior.  I hope they found my importations useful; they certainly were not ornamental.

Elated as I was by my success, I did not forget the Cockles, and gently insinuated to my now somewhat excited friend that we might do a little more trading.  To my disgust he told me that he had never heard of such a thing as Cockle’s pills.  I strongly urged him to try half-a-dozen, assuring him that if he once experienced their invigorating effects he would never cease to recommend them.  But the ignorant fellow didn’t seem to see it; for, finishing his brandy and buttoning up his pockets, he walked on shore.  I never thought of naming toothbrushes, for what could a man who had never heard of Cockles know of the luxury of toothbrushes?  So I sat quietly down, and began to sum up my profits on the corsages.

I was deeply engaged in this occupation when I felt a heavy hand on my shoulder.  Turning round I saw my friend the trader, who, after having smothered my boot in tobacco-juice, said, ’I say, captain, have you got any coffin-screws on trade?’ His question rather staggered me, but he explained that they had no possible way of making this necessary article in the Southern States, and that they positively could not keep the bodies quiet in their coffins without them, especially when being sent any distance for interment.  As I had no acquaintance, I am happy to say, with the sort of thing he wanted, it was agreed upon between us that I should send to England for a quantity, he, on his part, promising an enormous profit on their being delivered.