Round II.—­Both blowing a good deal.  The Proser put up his Dukes, and let fly with both of them, one after another, at the Dullard’s conk, drawing claret profusely.  Nothing daunted, the Dullard watched his opportunity, and delivered a first-class Royal Prince on the Proser’s right eye, half closing that optic.  The men now closed, but broke away again almost directly.  Some smart fibbing, in which neither could claim an advantage, ensued.  The round was brought to a close by some rapid exchanges, after which the Proser went down.  Betting 6 to 4 on the Dullard.

Round III., and last.—­Proser’s right peeper badly swollen, the Dullard gory, and a bit groggy, but still smiling.  Proser opened with a ricochet, which did great execution, but was countered heavily when he attempted to repeat the trick, the Dullard all but knocking him off his legs with a fifty-pound salmon.  After some slight exchanges they began a hammer-and-tongs game, in which Proser scored heavily.  Dullard, however, pulled himself together for a final rush.  They met in the middle of the ring, and both fell heavily.  As neither was able to rise, the fight was drawn.  Both men were heavily damaged, and were carried away with their jaws broken.

There you have the story.  The actual result was that these two ponderous bores all but did one another to death.  So exhausted were they by the terrible conflict, that our comfort was not again disturbed by them during this particular visit.  We were lucky, though at first we scarcely saw it, in getting two evenly matched ironclad bores together.  If we had had only one, the matter would have been far more difficult.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  THE SERPENT’S TOOTH.

“DIDN’T I SEND ‘IM TO HETON AN’ HOXFORD?  DIDN’T I SEND ’IM INTO THE
HARMY, ALONG O’ SOME O’ THE BIGGEST NOBS IN ALL HENGLAND, WITH AN
ALLOWANCE FIT FOR A YOUNG HEARL?  AND WHAT’S THE HUPSHOT OF IT ALL? 
WHY, HE GIVES DINNERS TO DOOKS AND ROYAL ‘IGHNESSES, AN’ DON’T EVEN
HARSK ’IS PORE OLD FATHER TO MEET ’EM.  ’IGHNESSES, INDEED!  I COULD BUY
UP THE ‘OLE BLESSED LOT!  AND, WHAT’S MORE, I WOULDN’T MIND TELLIN’
’EM SO TO THEIR FACES, FOR TWO PINS!—­AH!  JUST AS SOON AS LOOK AT
’EM—­AND ’E KNOWS IT!”]

* * * * *

UNDECIDED.

  Goosey, Goose, Uganda,
    With whom will you wander,
  With the English, with the French? 
    Or with King MWANGA?

* * * * *

ADVICE GRATIS (by a Bill Poster).—­“Invest all your savings in hoardings.”

* * * * *

THE COMPLIMENT OF COIN.

(AN EXTRACT FROM MR. PUNCH’S PURELY IMAGINARY CONVERSATIONS.)

    SCENE—­Interior of a Palace. Emperor and Empress
    discovered discussing the former’s tour in foreign parts.