“It does not matter,” observed the Commanding Officer of the Red; “the Blue may have his person, but we have his luggage!”

And then the cheers were renewed again and again, and the Illustrious Personage came to the conclusion that English enterprise was not without its disadvantages!

* * * * *

[Illustration:  WHAT OUR ARTIST HAS TO PUT UP WITH.

HE TRAVELS ALL OVER ENGLAND IN SEARCH OF A BACKGROUND FOR HIS “VIVIAN
BEGUILING MERLIN IN THE FOREST OF BROCELIANDE,”—­A HOPELESS QUEST!]

* * * * *

BOGEY OR BENEFACTOR?

Timid Ratepayer loquitur:—­

  O lor!  O dear!  What have we here?  What a nondescript, huge
          NID-NODDY! 
  None know, I’m sure, what I have to endure.  It’s enough to
          frighten a body! 
  They are always up to some queer new game, and a giving me some
          fresh master;
  But this one is a crux from the sole of his foot to the crown of
          his comical castor.

  He looks as big as all out-of-doors, and e’en BUMBLE was hardly as
          bumptious. 
  He’d make my London a Paradise, which is a prospect that’s
          perfectly scrumptious. 
  But oh! he is big, with the funniest rig; a Titan who, if he
          should tumble,
  Might squelch me as flat as an opera-hat, and make me regret old
          BUMBLE.

  Noodledom ruled me for many long years; this means, I am told, a
          new Era;
  But bad as a Booby may be as a Boss, what about a colossal Chimaera? 
  I don’t say he’s that, but with body of goat, dragon’s tail, and
          the head of a lion,
  A creature were hardly more “mixed” than this monster, whose
          rule for the time I must try on.

  A complex, conglomerate, Jack-of-all-Trades!  Well, I trust he’ll
          be master of some of them!
  Largo al factotum!  He’s game for all tasks, and—­I wish I was
          sure what would come of them. 
  Most representative?  Palpable that!  And his plans most sublime (so
          he says) are;
  But he looks just as motley a nondescript as the image of
          Nebuchadnezzar.

  The elephant who can root up a huge oak, or handle a needle or
          pin, is
  Less marvellous much, and it may be, of course, that the folks who
          distrust him are ninnies. 
  I hope so, I’m sure.  There are evils to cure, and of room for
          improvement there’s plenty;
  And all must admit that, whatever his faults, he cannot be called
          far niente.