Parenthetically so much—­I want most, though, to tell you—­(leaving out any slightest attempt at thanking you) that I am much better, quite well to-day—­that my doctor has piloted me safely through two or three illnesses, and knows all about me, I do think—­and that he talks confidently of getting rid of all the symptoms complained of—­and has made a good beginning if I may judge by to-day.  As for going abroad, that is just the thing I most want to avoid (for a reason not so hard to guess, perhaps, as why my letter was slow in arriving).

So, till to-morrow,—­my light through the dark week.

God ever bless you, dear friend,

R.B.

E.B.B. to R.B.

Tuesday Evening.
[Post-mark, June 25, 1845.]

What will you think when I write to ask you not to come to-morrow, Wednesday; but ... on Friday perhaps, instead?  But do see how it is; and judge if it is to be helped.

I have waited hour after hour, hoping to hear from Miss Mitford that she would agree to take Thursday in change for Wednesday,—­and just as I begin to wonder whether she can have received my letter at all, or whether she may not have been vexed by it into taking a vengeance and adhering to her own devices; (for it appealed to her esprit de sexe on the undeniable axiom of women having their way ... and she might choose to act it out!) just as I wonder over all this, and consider what a confusion of the elements it would be if you came and found her here, and Mr. Chorley at the door perhaps, waiting for some of the light of her countenance;—­comes a note from Mr. Kenyon, to the effect that he will be here at four o’clock P.M.—­and comes a final note from my aunt Mrs. Hedley (supposed to be at Brighton for several months) to the effect that she will be here at twelve o’clock, M.!!  So do observe the constellation of adverse stars ... or the covey of ‘bad birds,’ as the Romans called them, and that there is no choice, but to write as I am writing.  It can’t be helped—­can it?  For take away the doubt about Miss Mitford, and Mr. Kenyon remains—­and take away Mr. Kenyon, and there is Mrs. Hedley—­and thus it must be for Friday ... which will learn to be a fortunate day for the nonce—­unless Saturday should suit you better.  I do not speak of Thursday, because of the doubt about Miss Mitford—­and if any harm should happen to Friday, I will write again; but if you do not hear again, and are able to come then, you will come perhaps then.

In the meantime I thank you for the better news in your note—­if it is really, really to be trusted in—­but you know, you have said so often that you were better and better, without being really better, that it makes people ... ‘suspicious.’  Yet it is full amends for the disappointment to hope ... here I must break off or be too late.  May God bless you my dear friend.

E.B.B.

R.B. to E.B.B.