May God bless you—­and mind to say how you are exactly, and don’t neglect the walking, pray do not.

Your own

And after all, those women!  A great deal of doctrine commends and discommends itself by the delivery:  and an honest thing may be said so foolishly as to disprove its very honesty.  Now after all, what did she mean by that very silly expression about books, but that she did not feel as she considered herself capable of feeling—­and that else but that was the meaning of the other woman?  Perhaps it should have been spoken earlier—­nay, clearly it should—­but surely it was better spoken even in the last hour than not at all ... surely it is always and under all circumstances, better spoken at whatever cost—­I have thought so steadily since I could think or feel at all.  An entire openness to the last moment of possible liberty, at whatever cost and consequence, is the most honourable and most merciful way, both for men and women! perhaps for men in an especial manner.  But I shall send this letter away, being in haste to get change for it.

R.B. to E.B.B.

Wednesday, December 31, 1845.

I have been properly punished for so much treachery as went to that re-urging the prayer that you would begin writing, when all the time (after the first of those words had been spoken which bade me write) I was full of purpose to send my own note last evening; one which should do its best to thank you:  but see, the punishment!  At home I found a note from Mr. Horne—­on the point of setting out for Ireland, too unwell to manage to come over to me; anxious, so he said, to see me before leaving London, and with only Tuesday or to-day to allow the opportunity of it, if I should choose to go and find him out.  So I considered all things and determined to go—­but not till so late did I determine on Tuesday, that there was barely time to get to Highgate—­wherefore no letter reached you to beg pardon ... and now this undeserved—­beyond the usual undeservedness—­this last-day-of-the-Year’s gift—­do you think or not think my gratitude weighs on me?  When I lay this with the others, and remember what you have done for me—­I do bless you—­so as I cannot but believe must reach the all-beloved head all my hopes and fancies and cares fly straight to.  Dearest, whatever change the new year brings with it, we are together—­I can give you no more of myself—­indeed, you give me now (back again if you choose, but changed and renewed by your possession) the powers that seemed most properly mine.  I could only mean that, by the expressions to which you refer—­only could mean that you were my crown and palm branch, now and for ever, and so, that it was a very indifferent matter to me if the world took notice of that fact or no.  Yes, dearest, that is the meaning of the prophecy, which I was stupidly blind not to have read and taken comfort from long ago.  You ARE the veritable