too much of the consciousness of entire cowardice ... which I don’t so willingly attribute to the noble would-be pacificator of Europe, besieger of Strigonium &c.—­but the end of it all was really pathetic, as it should be, for Bobadil is only too clever for the company of fools he makes wonderment for:  having once the misfortune to relish their society, and to need but too pressingly their ‘tobacco-money,’ what can he do but suit himself to their capacities?—­And D. Jerrold was very amusing and clever in his ’Country Gull’—­And Mr. Leech superb in the Town Master Mathew.  All were good, indeed, and were voted good, and called on, and cheered off, and praised heartily behind their backs and before the curtain.  Stanfield’s function had exercise solely in the touching up (very effectively) sundry ’Scenes’—­painted scenes—­and the dresses, which were perfect, had the advantage of Mr. Maclise’s experience.  And—­all is told!

And now; I shall hear, you promise me, if anything occurs—­with what feeling, I wait and hope, you know.  If there is no best of reasons against it, Saturday, you remember, is my day—­This fine weather, too!

May God bless my dearest friend—­

Ever yours

R.B.

E.B.B. to R.B.

[Post-mark, September 25, 1845.]

I have spoken again, and the result is that we are in precisely the same position; only with bitterer feelings on one side.  If I go or stay they must be bitter:  words have been said that I cannot easily forget, nor remember without pain; and yet I really do almost smile in the midst of it all, to think how I was treated this morning as an undutiful daughter because I tried to put on my gloves ... for there was no worse provocation.  At least he complained of the undutifulness and rebellion (!!!) of everyone in the house—­and when I asked if he meant that reproach for me, the answer was that he meant it for all of us, one with another.  And I could not get an answer.  He would not even grant me the consolation of thinking that I sacrificed what I supposed to be good, to him.  I told him that my prospects of health seemed to me to depend on taking this step, but that through my affection for him, I was ready to sacrifice those to his pleasure if he exacted it—­only it was necessary to my self-satisfaction in future years, to understand definitely that the sacrifice was exacted by him and was made to him, ... and not thrown away blindly and by a misapprehension.  And he would not answer that.  I might do my own way, he said—­he would not speak—­he would not say that he was not displeased with me, nor the contrary:—­I had better do what I liked:—­for his part, he washed his hands of me altogether.