Prisoner. “OH, I’M QUITE WILLING TO DROP IT AS FAR AS I’M CONCERNED.”]

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    “VACUUM for Sale, good condition.  After 6 o’clock.”—­Provincial
    Paper.

Our own is generally at its best about an hour and a-half later.

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[Illustration:  Mistress (returned from shopping).  “HAS ANYONE CALLED, LAURA, WHILE I’VE BEEN OUT?”

Laura (newly from the country and eager to display her progress in urban manners).  “NO, MA’AM, ONLY THE TELEPHONE RANG, MA’AM, AND I DID PUT ON MY CLEAN CAP AND APRON TO ANSWER IT, MA’AM.”]

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OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

(By Mr. Punch’s Staff of Learned Clerks.)

“A tough hide and some facility of expression”—­to quote the author’s modest estimate of his qualifications—­have enabled Rear-Admiral Sir DOUGLAS BROWNRIGG to make his Indiscretions of the Naval Censor (CASSELL) the liveliest book of the War that has come my way.  Thanks to the first element in his make-up he managed to retain his difficult and delicate post throughout the War, and only once came into serious collision with any of his official superiors.  As these included First Lords of such diverse temperament as Mr. CHURCHILL and Lord FISHER, and First Sea Lords with such diametrically opposite views regarding publicity as Lord FISHER and Sir HENRY JACKSON, this was no small achievement.  Thanks to the second element he has written a book which scarcely contains a dull page.  Whether he is giving us a pen-picture of Mr. CHURCHILL conducting Admiralty business from a sick-bed, with his head swathed in flannel and an immense cigar protruding from the bandage; or explaining how the legend of Lord KITCHENER’S survival arose from a trivial error that caused the news of the Hampshire disaster to reach Berlin a few minutes before it was published in London, he always writes with directness and verve.  Admiral BROWNRIGG tells a good deal about the censorship, and illustrates his theme with some excellent reproductions of naval photographs before and after the Censor had “re-touched” them.  He tells us even more about his work in a less familiar role, that of Publicity Agent to the Silent Service.  It was he who arranged visits to the Fleet by more or less distinguished personages—­ “BROWNRIGG’S circus parties,” as they were dubbed in the gun-room—­and who engaged authors like Mr. KIPLING and artists like Sir JOHN LAVERY to describe and portray the doings of the Fleet and its auxiliaries.  It pains me to learn, however, that “Passed by Censor” was only a guarantee for the harmlessness and not for the veracity of the stories narrated; and in particular that the famous “Q"-boat ruse of the demented female with the explosive baby was a pure work of imagination.

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