English Satires eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 376 pages of information about English Satires.

English Satires eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 376 pages of information about English Satires.

    How Bull and Frog went to law with Lord Strutt about the premises,
    and were joined by the rest of the tradesmen.

All endeavours of accommodation between Lord Strutt and his drapers proved vain.  Jealousies increased, and, indeed, it was rumoured abroad that Lord Strutt had bespoke his new liveries of old Lewis Baboon.  This coming to Mrs. Bull’s ears, when John Bull came home, he found all his family in an uproar.  Mrs. Bull, you must know, was very apt to be choleric.  “You sot,” says she, “you loiter about ale-houses and taverns, spend your time at billiards, ninepins, or puppet-shows, or flaunt about the streets in your new gilt chariot, never minding me nor your numerous family.  Don’t you hear how Lord Strutt has bespoke his liveries at Lewis Baboon’s shop?  Don’t you see how that old fox steals away your customers, and turns you out of your business every day, and you sit like an idle drone, with your hands in your pockets?  Fie upon it.  Up, man, rouse thyself; I’ll sell to my shift before I’ll be so used by that knave."[178] You must think Mrs. Bull had been pretty well tuned up by Frog, who chimed in with her learned harangue.  No further delay now, but to counsel learned in the law they go, who unanimously assured them both of justice and infallible success of their lawsuit.

I told you before that old Lewis Baboon was a sort of a Jack-of-all-trades, which made the rest of the tradesmen jealous, as well as Bull and Frog; they, hearing of the quarrel, were glad of an opportunity of joining against old Lewis Baboon, provided that Bull and Frog would bear the charges of the suit.  Even lying Ned, the chimney-sweeper of Savoy, and Tom, the Portugal dustman, put in their claims, and the cause was put into the hands of Humphry Hocus, the attorney.

A declaration was drawn up to show “That Bull and Frog had undoubted right by prescription to be drapers to the Lord Strutts; that there were several old contracts to that purpose; that Lewis Baboon had taken up the trade of clothier and draper without serving his time or purchasing his freedom; that he sold goods that were not marketable without the stamp; that he himself was more fit for a bully than a tradesman, and went about through all the country fairs challenging people to fight prizes, wrestling and cudgel-play, and abundance more to this purpose”.

    The true characters of John Bull, Nic.  Frog, and Hocus.[179]

For the better understanding the following history the reader ought to know that Bull, in the main, was an honest, plain-dealing fellow, choleric, bold, and of a very unconstant temper; he dreaded not old Lewis either at back-sword, single falchion, or cudgel-play; but then he was very apt to quarrel with his best friends, especially if they pretended to govern him.  If you flattered him you might lead him like a child.  John’s temper depended very much upon the air; his spirits rose and fell with the weather-glass. 

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English Satires from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.