For decades, collar-buttons have been on the hand-me-down shelves of humor; it is a mistake in the catalogue.  They belong to pathos.  They have done harm in the world, and there have been collar-buttons that failed when the destinies of families hung upon them.  There have been collar-buttons that thwarted proper matings.  There have been collar-buttons that bore last hopes, and, falling to the floor, never were found!  William’s broken collar-button was really the only collar-button in the house, except such as were engaged in serving his male guests below.

At first he did not realize the extent of his misfortune.  How could he?  Fate is always expected to deal its great blows in the grand manner.  But our expectations are fustian spangled with pinchbeck; we look for tragedy to be theatrical.  Meanwhile, every day before our eyes, fate works on, employing for its instruments the infinitesimal, the ignoble and the petty—­in a word, collar-buttons.

Of course William searched his dressing-table and his father’s, although he had been thoroughly over both once before that day.  Next he went through most of his mother’s and Jane’s accessories to the toilette; through trinket-boxes, glove-boxes, hairpin-boxes, handkerchief-cases—­even through sewing-baskets.  Utterly he convinced himself that ladies not only use no collar-buttons, but also never pick them up and put them away among their own belongings.  How much time he consumed in this search is difficult to reckon;—­it is almost impossible to believe that there is absolutely no collar-button in a house.

And what William’s state of mind had become is matter for exorbitant conjecture.  Jane, arriving at his locked door upon an errand, was bidden by a thick, unnatural voice to depart.

“Mamma says, ‘What in mercy’s name is the matter?’” Jane called.  “She whispered to me, ‘Go an’ see what in mercy’s name is the matter with Willie; an’ if the glass cut him, after all; an’ why don’t he come down’; an’ why don’t you, Willie?  We’re all havin’ the nicest time!”

“You g’way!” said the strange voice within the room.  “G’way!”

“Well, did the glass cut you?”

“No!  Keep quiet!  G’way!”

“Well, are you ever comin’ down to your party?”

“Yes, I am!  G’way!”

Jane obeyed, and William somehow completed the task upon which he was engaged.  Genius had burst forth from his despair; necessity had become a mother again, and William’s collar was in place.  It was tied there.  Under his necktie was a piece of string.

He had lost count of time, but he was frantically aware of its passage; agony was in the thought of so many rich moments frittered away; up-stairs, while Joe Bullitt and Johnnie Watson made hay below.  And there was another spur to haste in his fear that the behavior of Mrs. Baxter might not be all that the guest of honor would naturally expect of William’s mother.  As for Jane, his mind filled with dread; shivers passed over him at intervals.