The Tithe-Proctor eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 445 pages of information about The Tithe-Proctor.

The Tithe-Proctor eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 445 pages of information about The Tithe-Proctor.

The peddler shut his right hand, slapped it quickly into the palm of his left.  “By the Lomenty tarry,” he exclaimed, “I seen the villain!  By the high horicks, I seen the very man, if I have an eye in my head!  A big, able-bodied villain, wid a pair of thumpin’ black whiskers that you might steal my own out of—­and I don’t think I can complain myself.  He was comin’ up the road from the Carr, and he was turnin’ over towards the bridge there below, so that I only got a short glimpse of him; and faix, sure enough, as he passed the bridge, I seen him throw something over the wall of it into the river, which I’d lay my head against the three kingdoms was the kay o’ the gate.”

The proctor paused a little, and then observed, “Ay, faith!  I’m sure you’re right, Cannie; I’ve heard of that villain, and know him from your description.  He is the cowardly ruffian who’s said to be at the head or bottom of these secret combinations that are disgracing and destroying the country.  Yes, I’ve heard of him.”

“And what did you hear, Misther Purcel?” asked the pedlar, with undisguised curiosity—.

“No matter now, Cannie; I haven’t time to bestow upon the murdering ruffian:  I have my eye on him, however, and so have others.  Indeed, I’m rather inclined to think the hemp has already grown that will hang him.  What dress had he on?”

“Why, sir, he had on a whitish frieze coat, wid big brown buttons; but there could be no mistakin’ the size of his murderin’ red whiskers.”

“Red whiskers!—­why, you said a moment ago that they were black.”

“Black! hut tut, no, Misther Purcel, I couldn’t say that; devil such a pair of red thumpers ever I seen, barin’ upon Rousin’ Redhead that was sent across—­for—­for—­buildin’ churches—­ha! ha! ha!”

“Why, I’d take my oath you said black,” rejoined the proctor—­“that is, if I have ears to my head.”

“Troth, an’ you have Misther Purcel, as brave a pair as a man could boast of; but the truth is, you wor so much feflustered wid alarm, and got altogether so much through other, that you didn’t know what I said.”

“I did perfectly:  you said distinctly that he had black whiskers.”

“Red, by the hokey, over the world; however, to avoid an argument, even if I did, in mistake, say black, the whiskers were red in the mane time; an’, as I sed, barrin’ Rousin’ Redhead’s, that was thransported, a never laid my eyes on so red, nor so big I pair.”

“He can’t be the fellow I suspect, then—­for his, by all accounts, are unusually large and black.”

“As to that, I can’t say, sir:  but you wouldn’t have me give a wrong description of any villain that ’ud make an attempt upon your life.  Are you sure, though, it wasn’t his reverend honor that the pistol was aimed at?”

“I am not; as I told you, it is impossible to settle that point.  There is neither of us very popular, certainly.”

“Bekaise, afther all, there is a difference; and it doesn’t folly that, although I’d purshue the villain for life and death, that ’ud attempt to murdher you, that I’d distress myself to secure an honest man that might free us an’ the country from the like o’ him;” and he pointed over his left shoulder with his inverted thumb.

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The Tithe-Proctor from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.