“Think it over well, my son Yakoff; measure ten times before you cut off once—­there are great difficulties in the worldly service, cold and hunger, and scorn for our caste!  And thou must know beforehand that no one will lend a hand to aid; so see to it that thou dost not repine afterward.  My desire, as thou knowest, has always been that thou shouldst succeed me; but if thou really hast come to cherish doubts as to thy calling and hast become unsteady in the faith, then it is not my place to restrain thee.  The Lord’s will be done!  Thy mother and I will not refuse thee our blessing.”

Yakoff answered me with a grateful letter.  “Thou hast rejoiced me, dear father,” said he.  “It is my intention to devote myself to the profession of learning, and I have some protection; I shall enter the university and become a doctor, for I feel a strong bent for science.”  I read Yashka’s letter and became sadder than before; but I did not share my grief with any one.  My old woman caught a severe cold about that time and died—­from that same cold, or the Lord took her to Himself because He loved her, I know not which.  I used to weep and weep because I was a lonely widower—­but what help was there for that?[21] So it had to be, you know.  And I would have been glad to go into the earth ... but it is hard ... it will not open.  And I was expecting my son; for he had notified me:  “Before I go to Moscow,” he said, “I shall look in at home.”  And he did come to the parental roof, but did not remain there long.  It seemed as though something were urging him on; he would have liked, apparently, to fly on wings to Moscow, to his beloved university!  I began to question him as to his doubts.  “What was the cause of them?” I asked.  But I did not get much out of him.  One idea had pushed itself into his head, and that was the end of it!  “I want to help my neighbours,” he said.—­Well, sir, he left me.  I don’t believe he took a penny with him, only a few clothes.  He had such reliance on himself!  And not without reason.  He passed an excellent examination, matriculated as student, obtained lessons in private houses....  He was very strong on the ancient languages!  And what think you?  He took it into his head to send me money.  I cheered up a little,—­not on account of the money, of course,—­I sent that back to him, and even scolded him; but I cheered up because I saw that the young fellow would make his way in the world.  But my rejoicing did not last long....

He came to me for his first vacation....  And, what marvel is this?  I do not recognise my Yakoff!  He had grown so tiresome and surly,—­you couldn’t get a word out of him.  And his face had changed also:  he had grown about ten years older.  He had been taciturn before, there’s no denying that!  At the slightest thing he would grow shy and blush like a girl....  But when he raised his eyes, you could see that all was bright in his soul!  But now it was quite different.  He was not shy, but he held aloof, like a wolf, and