***

According to a trade journal the latest fashion in umbrellas is a pigeon’s head carved on the handle.  This, we understand, is the first step towards a really reliable homing umbrella.

***

The appearance of a hen blackbird without any trace of feathers on its neck or back is reported by a Worcester ornithologist.  The attempt on the part of this bird to follow our present fashions is most interesting.

***

So much difficulty is being experienced in deciding whose incendiary bullet was the most effective, that it is thought possible that the Government may arrange for the Zeppelin raids to be revived.

***

A society paper reports that a large number of millionaires are now staying on the Riviera.  It is not known where the other shareholders of COATS’S are staying.

***

In order to influence the exchange a contemporary suggests that we should sell our treasures to America.  We understand that a cable to New York asking what they are prepared to pay for Mr. Ramsay MACDONALD remains unanswered.

***

An egg weighing nine-and-a-half ounces has been laid at Bayonne, France.  It looks like a walk-over unless The Spectator has something up its sleeve.

***

“One hears the crying of the new-born lambs on all sides,” writes a Nature correspondent.  On the other hand the unmistakable bubbling note of the mint-sauce will not be heard for another month or so.

***

Will the A.S.C. private who in 1917 was ordered to take a mule to Sutton Coldfield please note that the animal has been sighted in California still chewing an army tunic, but the badges are missing?

***

“So many letters are being lost in the post nowadays,” states a daily paper, “that drastic action should be taken in the matter.”  We understand that the postmaster-general has expressed his willingness to be searched.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Hygienist.  “Feeling the cold, eh?  Aha—­look at me.  I don’t know what cold is.”

Normal Individual.  “Then N-naturally you D-don’t feel it.”]

* * * * *

A vulnerable spot.

  “Lady, a word—­but oh, beware! 
    And prithee do not slight it—­
  If you will have your back so bare,
    Someone is sure to bite it.”

* * * * *

    “An official of the Coal Controller’s Department said that
    everything possible would be done to relieve the situation.

    ‘No stone will be left unturned,’ he said, ’to ease the
    position.’”—­Daily Paper.

This accounts, no doubt, for the stuff in our last half-hundredweight.