‘I observe,’ said he, addressing the landlord, but taking at the same time the whole room into his confidence with an encouraging look, ’I observe that some of these gentlemen are looking with curiosity in my direction; and certainly it is unusual to see anyone immersed in literary and scientific labours in the public apartment of an inn.  I have here some calculations I made this morning upon the cost of living in this and other countries—­a subject, I need scarcely say, highly interesting to the working classes.  I have calculated a scale of living for incomes of eighty, one hundred and sixty, two hundred, and two hundred and forty pounds a year.  I must confess that the income of eighty pounds has somewhat baffled me, and the others are not so exact as I could wish; for the price of washing varies largely in foreign countries, and the different cokes, coals and firewoods fluctuate surprisingly.  I will read my researches, and I hope you won’t scruple to point out to me any little errors that I may have committed either from oversight or ignorance.  I will begin, gentlemen, with the income of eighty pounds a year.’

Whereupon the old gentleman, with less compassion than he would have had for brute beasts, delivered himself of all his tedious calculations.  As he occasionally gave nine versions of a single income, placing the imaginary person in London, Paris, Bagdad, Spitzbergen, Bassorah, Heligoland, the Scilly Islands, Brighton, Cincinnati, and Nijni-Novgorod, with an appropriate outfit for each locality, it is no wonder that his hearers look back on that evening as the most tiresome they ever spent.

Long before Mr Finsbury had reached Nijni-Novgorod with the income of one hundred and sixty pounds, the company had dwindled and faded away to a few old topers and the bored but affable Watts.  There was a constant stream of customers from the outer world, but so soon as they were served they drank their liquor quickly and departed with the utmost celerity for the next public-house.

By the time the young man with two hundred a year was vegetating in the Scilly Islands, Mr Watts was left alone with the economist; and that imaginary person had scarce commenced life at Brighton before the last of his pursuers desisted from the chase.

Mr Finsbury slept soundly after the manifold fatigues of the day.  He rose late, and, after a good breakfast, ordered the bill.  Then it was that he made a discovery which has been made by many others, both before and since:  that it is one thing to order your bill, and another to discharge it.  The items were moderate and (what does not always follow) the total small; but, after the most sedulous review of all his pockets, one and nine pence halfpenny appeared to be the total of the old gentleman’s available assets.  He asked to see Mr Watts.

‘Here is a bill on London for eight hundred pounds,’ said Mr Finsbury, as that worthy appeared.  ’I am afraid, unless you choose to discount it yourself, it may detain me a day or two till I can get it cashed.’