A dull country magistrate gave Johnson a long tedious account of his exercising his criminal jurisdiction, the result of which was his having sentenced four convicts to transportation.  Johnson, in an agony of impatience to get rid of such a companion, exclaimed, ’I heartily wish, Sir, that I were a fifth.’

Johnson was present when a tragedy was read, in which there occurred this line:—­

‘Who rules o’er freemen should himself be free.’

The company having admired it much, ’I cannot agree with you (said
Johnson).  It might as well be said,—­

‘Who drives fat oxen should himself be fat.’

Johnson having argued for some time with a pertinacious gentleman; his opponent, who had talked in a very puzzling manner, happened to say, ’I don’t understand you, Sir:’  upon which Johnson observed, ’Sir, I have found you an argument; but I am not obliged to find you an understanding.’

Talking to me of Horry Walpole, (as Horace late Earl of Orford was often called,) Johnson allowed that he got together a great many curious little things, and told them in an elegant manner.  Mr. Walpole thought Johnson a more amiable character after reading his Letters to Mrs. Thrale:  but never was one of the true admirers of that great man.  We may suppose a prejudice conceived, if he ever heard Johnson’s account to Sir George Staunton, that when he made the speeches in parliament for the Gentleman’s Magazine, ’he always took care to put Sir Robert Walpole in the wrong, and to say every thing he could against the electorate of Hanover.’  The celebrated Heroick Epistle, in which Johnson is satyrically introduced, has been ascribed both to Mr. Walpole and Mr. Mason.  One day at Mr. Courtenay’s, when a gentleman expressed his opinion that there was more energy in that poem than could be expected from Mr. Walpole; Mr. Warton, the late Laureat, observed, ’It may have been written by Walpole, and BUCKRAM’D by Mason.’

Sir Joshua Reynolds having said that he took the altitude of a man’s taste by his stories and his wit, and of his understanding by the remarks which he repeated; being always sure that he must be a weak man who quotes common things with an emphasis as if they were oracles; Johnson agreed with him; and Sir Joshua having also observed that the real character of a man was found out by his amusements,—­Johnson added, ‘Yes, Sir; no man is a hypocrite in his pleasures.’

I have mentioned Johnson’s general aversion to a pun.  He once, however, endured one of mine.  When we were talking of a numerous company in which he had distinguished himself highly, I said, ’Sir, you were a cod surrounded by smelts.  Is not this enough for you? at a time too when you were not fishing for a compliment?’ He laughed at this with a complacent approbation.  Old Mr. Sheridan observed, upon my mentioning it to him, ’He liked your compliment so well, he was willing to take it with pun Sauce.’  For my own part, I think no innocent species of wit or pleasantry should be suppressed; and that a good pun may be admitted among the smaller excellencies of lively conversation.