water is impregnated with salutiferous substances, it may produce great effects as a bath.  This appeared to me very satisfactory.  Johnson did not answer it; but talking for victory, and determined to be master of the field, he had recourse to the device which Goldsmith imputed to him in the witty words of one of Cibber’s comedies:  ’There is no arguing with Johnson; for when his pistol misses fire, he knocks you down with the butt end of it.’  He turned to the gentleman, ’well, Sir, go to Dominicetti, and get thyself fumigated; but be sure that the steam be directed to thy head, for that is the peccant part.’  This produced a triumphant roar of laughter from the motley assembly of philosophers, printers, and dependents, male and female.

I know not how so whimsical a thought came into my mind, but I asked, ’If, Sir, you were shut up in a castle, and a newborn child with you, what would you do?’ Johnson.  ’Why, Sir, I should not much like my company.’  Boswell.  ‘But would you take the trouble of rearing it?’ He seemed, as may well be supposed, unwilling to pursue the subject:  but upon my persevering in my question, replied, ’Why yes, Sir, I would; but I must have all conveniencies.  If I had no garden, I would make a shed on the roof, and take it there for fresh air.  I should feed it, and wash it much, and with warm water to please it, not with cold water to give it pain.’  Boswell.  ‘But, Sir, does not heat relax?’ Johnson.  ’Sir, you are not to imagine the water is to be very hot.  I would not coddle the child.  No, Sir, the hardy method of treating children does no good.  I’ll take you five children from London, who shall cuff five Highland children.  Sir, a man bred in London will carry a burthen, or run, or wrestle, as well as a man brought up in the hardiest manner in the country.’  Boswell.  ‘Good living, I suppose, makes the Londoners strong.’  Johnson.  ’Why, Sir, I don’t know that it does.  Our Chairmen from Ireland, who are as strong men as any, have been brought up upon potatoes.  Quantity makes up for quality.’  Boswell.  ’Would you teach this child that I have furnished you with, any thing?’ Johnson.  ’No, I should not be apt to teach it.’  Boswell.  ’Would not you have a pleasure in teaching it?’ Johnson.  ’No, Sir, I should not have a pleasure in teaching it.’  Boswell.  ’Have you not a pleasure in teaching men?—­There I have you.  You have the same pleasure in teaching men, that I should have in teaching children.’  Johnson.  ‘Why, something about that.’