defence fell upon Mr. NEAL, owing to the regretted absence of his chief, who had been ordered away by his doctor for a much-needed holiday and was reported to be recruiting himself on the golf-links.  If exercise is what he needs he could have got plenty of it in the House to-night.  Thanks to a persistent minority, Members were kept tramping through the Lobbies for the best part of five hours, and did not complete the full round of eighteen divisions until 2.15 A.M.

Thursday, March 11th.—­Possibly the news of “direct action’s” heavy cropper at the Trade Union Conference had reached the Front Bench before the PRIME MINISTER, in reply to a question regarding the shortage of labour in the building trades, bluntly attributed it to the stringency of the Trade Union regulations.  When Mr. ADAMSON attempted to shift the blame on to a Government Department Mr. LLOYD GEORGE retorted that he would be perfectly ready to deal with any peccant official if the Labour Leader for his part would deal with the Trade Unions.

General SEELY repeated his familiar arguments in favour of an independent Air Ministry, and Mr. CHURCHILL once more defended his position, urging that it was better for the Air Service to have half a Minister in the Cabinet than none at all.  To a suggestion that the lives of the Armenians might have been saved if we had sent more aeroplanes to Asia Minor, Mr. CHURCHILL replied that unfortunately the Armenian and Turkish populations were so intermingled that our bombs would be dropping indiscriminately, like the rain, “upon the just and unjust feller.”

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Actor (who has brought friend in for supper—­to lodging-house keeper).  “TUT, TUT, MA!  CEASE YOUR APOLOGIES.  WHAT IF THERE IS BUT TWOPENNYWORTH OF FISH AND CHIPS?  BRING IT FORTH.  THIS IS BOHEMIA!”

Ma (politely bowing to stranger).  “HOW D’YE DO, SIR?”]

* * * * *

BUBBLE AND SQUEAK.

(By a Grateful Student of the New English Dictionary.)

  I can conjugate the modern verb “to wangle,”
    And, if required, translate it into Greek;
  I can even tell a wurzel from a mangel;
    But I cannot tell a bubble from a squeak.

  I still can march eight furlongs at the double,
    Although I shall be seventy next week;
  I can separate a bubble from a bubble;
    But I cannot tell a bubble from a squeak.

  I know a catfish differs from a seamew;
    I don’t expect Bellaggio at Belleek;
  I know a cassowary from an emu;
    But I cannot tell a bubble from a squeak.

  I’m acquainted with the works of HENRY PURZELL
    (My mastery of spelling is unique);
  I repeat, I know a mangel from a wurzel;
    But I cannot tell a bubble from a squeak.

  I’m proficient both in jotting and in tittling;
    I know a certain cure for boots that creak;
  I can see through Mr. KEYNES and Mr. Britling;
    But I cannot tell a bubble from a squeak.