it is not seemly, at any rate, and it cannot possibly lead to any good, though it may not lead to any great evil.  And, on the other hand, you may be quite sure that, whatever she may seem to think of the matter, she will not like you the better for your attentions of this sort to other women, especially if they be young and handsome:  and as this species of fashionable nonsense can do you no good, why gratify your love of talk, or the vanity of any woman, at even the risk of exciting uneasiness in that mind of which it is your most sacred duty to preserve, if you can, the uninterrupted tranquillity.

196.  The truth is, that the greatest security of all against jealousy in a wife is to show, to prove, by your acts, by your words also, but more especially by your acts, that you prefer her to all the world; and, as I said before, I know of no act that is, in this respect, equal to spending in her company every moment of your leisure time.  Every body knows, and young wives better than any body else, that people, who can choose, will be where they like best to be, and that they will be along with those whose company they best like.  The matter is very plain, then, and I do beseech you to bear it in mind.  Nor do I see the use, or sense, of keeping a great deal of company, as it is called.  What company can a young man and woman want more than their two selves, and their children, if they have any?  If here be not company enough, it is but a sad affair.  The pernicious cards are brought forth by the company-keeping, the rival expenses, the sittings up late at night, the seeing of ‘the ladies home,’ and a thousand squabbles and disagreeable consequences.  But, the great thing of all is, that this hankering after company, proves, clearly proves, that you want something beyond the society of your wife; and that she is sure to feel most acutely:  the bare fact contains an imputation against her, and it is pretty sure to lay the foundation of jealousy, or of something still worse.

197.  If acts of kindness in you are necessary in all cases, they are especially so in cases of her illness, from whatever cause arising.  I will not suppose myself to be addressing any husband capable of being unconcerned while his wife’s life is in the most distant danger from illness, though it has been my very great mortification to know in my life time, two or three brutes of this description; but, far short of this degree of brutality, a great deal of fault may be committed.  When men are ill, they feel every neglect with double anguish, and, what then must be in such cases the feelings of women, whose ordinary feelings are so much more acute than those of men; what must be their feelings in case of neglect in illness, and especially if the neglect come from the husband!  Your own heart will, I hope, tell you what those feelings must be, and will spare me the vain attempt to describe them;