Podb. (with intense disgust).  How on earth are we going to get that beggar out?  Set the Conductor at him, CULCHARD, do—­you can talk the lingo best!

Culch. (who has had enough of PODBURY for the present).  Talk to him yourself, my dear fellow, I’m not going to make a row. [He gets in.

Podb. (to Conductor).  Hi! sprechen sie Franzoesisch, oder was? il-y-a quelque chose dans mon siege, dites-lui de—­what the deuce is the French for “clear out”?

Cond. Montez, Monsieur, nous bartons, montez vite alors!

    [He thrusts PODBURY, protesting vainly, into the interieur,
    with two peasants, a priest and the elderly Englishwoman.  The
    diligence starts again.

* * * * *

AT THE ITALIAN OPERA.

[Illustration:  Two (Covent Garden) Gentlemen of Verona!!]

[Illustration:  Exit Romeo by the Rope Ladder,—­a shrewd guess at what really happens.]

Tuesday, October 20th.—­Opening night. Romeo et Juliette; debuts of Mlle. SIMMONET, of the Opera Comique, and M. COSSIRA, as the lovers. Lady Capulet’s Small Dance, quite the smartest of the season, as the Veronese nobility present were evidently remarking, with abundance of easy gesture, to one another, as they led the way to the lemonade.  The Juliette of the evening charming, and soon singing herself into the good graces of a large audience; ditto, M. COSSIRA, “than which,” as the Prophet NICHOLAS would say, “a more competent Romeo—­though perhaps a trifle full in the waist for balcony-scaling by moonlight.”  If he had really trusted himself to that gossamer ladder in the Fourth Act, he would never have got away to Mantua, especially as Juliette, with the thoughtlessness of her age and sex, omitted to secure it in any way.  Fortunately it was not a long drop, and the descent was accomplished without accident, as will be seen from the accompanying sketch.

* * * * *

CHANGE FOR A TENOR.—­Mr. SEYMOUR HADEN, the opponent of the Cremation gospel according to THOMPSON (Sir HENRY of that ilk), should come to an arrangement with the English Light Opera tenor, and tack COFFIN on to his name.

* * * * *

ONLY FANCY!

(FROM MR. PUNCH’S OWN RUMOURISTS.)

It may be interesting at this time of the year to mention the fact that Lord SALISBURY always uses a poker in cracking walnuts.  He says it saves the silver.  The other day, whilst wielding the poker across the walnuts and the wine, Mr. GLADSTONE chanced to look in.  The Premier, with his well-known hospitality, immediately furnished the Right Hon. Gentleman with another poker (brought in from the drawing-room), and ordered up a fresh supply of nuts.

* * * * *