Nash and the Doctor.—­When the celebrated Beau Nash was ill, Dr. Cheyne wrote a prescription for him.  The next day, the doctor coming to see his patient, inquired if he had followed his prescription?  “No, truly, doctor,” said Nash; “if I had, I should have broken my neck, for I threw it out of a two-pair-of-stairs window.”

Gin versus Medicine.—­The celebrated Dr. Ward was not more remarkable for humanity and skill than for wit and humour.  An old woman, to whom he had administered some medicines proper for a disorder under which she laboured, applied to him, with a complaint that she had not experienced any kind of effect from taking them.  “No effect at all?” said the doctor.  “None in the least,” replied the woman.  “Why, then you should have taken a bumping glass of gin.”  “So I did, sir.”  “Well, but when you found that did not succeed, you should have taken another.”  “So I did, sir; and another after that.”  “Oh, you did?” said the doctor; “aye, aye, it is just as I imagined:  you complain that you found no effect from my prescription, and you confess yourself that you swallowed gin enough to counteract any medicine in the whole system of physic.”

Abernethy.—­A Chancery barrister having been for a long while annoyed by an irritable ulcer on one of his legs, called upon Mr. Abernethy for the purpose of obtaining that gentleman’s advice.  The counsellor judging of an ulcer as of a brief, that it must be seen before its nature could be understood, was busily employed in removing his stocking and bandages, when Mr. Abernethy abruptly advanced towards him, and exclaimed in a stentorian voice, “Halloo! what are you about there?  Put out your tongue, man!  Aye, there ’tis—­I see it—­I’m satisfied.  Quite enough;—­shut up your leg, man—­shut it up—­shut it up!  Go home and read my book, p.—­, and take one of the pills there mentioned every night on going to bed.”  The lawyer handed over the fee, and was about to leave the room, when Mr. A. thus accosted him:  “Why, look here;—­this is but a shilling!” The barrister sarcastically replied, “Aye, there ’tis—­I see it—­I’m satisfied.  Quite enough, man;—­shut it up—­shut it up!” and hastily decamped from the room.

A lady, who had received a severe bite in her arm from a dog, went to Mr. Abernethy, but knowing his aversion to hearing any statement of particulars, she merely uncovered the injured part, and held it before him in silence.  After looking at it an instant, he said in an inquiring tone, “Scratch?” “Bite,” replied the lady.  “Cat?” asked the doctor.  “Dog,” rejoined the patient.  So delighted was Mr. A. with the brevity and promptness of her answers, that he exclaimed, “Zounds, madam! you are the most sensible woman I ever met with in my life.”