“Them hogs was only eight months old,” he said, “and none too fat, nuther; but I seen that the buyer was at his wits’ end, and by skilful jugglin’ I boosted up the price on him just 300 per cent.  Yes, by gum, I got three times more for them hogs than I uster get before the war.”

The plowshare being done, the farmer handed the smith 50 cents.

“Hold on,” said the smith, “I charge $1.50 for that job now.”

“You scandalous rascal!” yelled the farmer.  “What do you mean by treblin’ your price on me?  What have you done it for?”

“I’ve done it,” said the blacksmith, “so’s I’ll be able to eat some of that high-priced pork of yours this winter.”

OLD DAME—­“You’ve had two penn’orth of sweets, my little man, but you’ve only given me a penny.”

THE LITTLE MAN—­“Yes, but farver says one penny’s got to do the work of two in war-time.”—­Punch.

“Of course you have your little theory about the cause of the high cost of living?”

“I have,” replied Mr. Growcher:  “too many people are trying to make political economy take the place of domestic economy.”

HE—­“Yes, I certainly like good food, and always look forward to the next meal.”

SHE—­“Why don’t you talk of higher things once in a while?”

HE—­“But, my dear, what is higher than food?”—­Life.

A certain judge, after passing sentence, always gave advice to prisoners.  Having before him a man found guilty of stealing, he started thus: 

“It you want to succeed in this world you must keep straight.  Now, do you understand?”

“Well, not quite,” said the prisoner; “but if your lordship will tell me how a man is to keep straight when he is trying to make boths ends meet, I might.”

And another trouble with the country is that too many are trying to satisfy a bricklayer’s appetite on a school-teacher’s salary.

SMALL BOY (much interested in shopman’s reason for high price of eggs)—­“But, mummy, how do the hens know we’re at war with Germany?”—­Punch.

“Don’t you object to all this talk about the high cost of everything?”

“Not at all,” replied the profiteer.  “It prepares the mind of a customer for what he may expect and saves argument.”

“How’s this, waiter?  You’ve charged me two dollars and a half for planked steak!”

“Sorry sir, but lumber’s gone up again.”

Our Government does not profess to live within its income, but only within ours.

“Farm products cost more than they used to.”

“Yes,” replied Mr. Corntossel.  “When a farmer is supposed to know the botanical name of what he’s raisin’ an’ the zoological name of the insect that eats it, and the chemical name of what will kill it, somebody’s got to pay.”

Its Friendly Way

“How are we to meet the high cost of living?”

“You don’t have to meet it,” answered the irritating person.  “It overtakes you.”