“What do you think he did?” asked the General, and the audience promptly replied: 

“Let it out.”

“Not at all,” replied the General; “he hadn’t done his kind act:  he thought of the cat.”

  Kindness is wisdom.  There is none in life
  But needs it and may learn.

  —­Bailey.

Beauty lives with kindness.—­Shakespeare.

KINGS AND RULERS

Kings and Emperors

Kings and Emperors shall pass
Like the sands within the glass.

See them passing even now,
Shorn of power, and bent of brow!

Purblind they who saw not Fate
Standing by the palace gate;
Deaf were they, and their reward
Is the Justice of the Lord!

   —­Clinton Scollard.

SAM—­“Who was the first Kaiser?”

BULL—­“How do I know?  Ask me something easy.”

SAM—­“Something easy?”

BULL—­“Yes; ask me who’s the last.”

  The Kaiser said, “What shameful fears
    I’m now compelled to feel;
  I stacked the cards for thirty years
    And then mussed up the deal!”

“Can you tell me,” said the Court, addressing Enrico Ufuzzi, under examination at Union Hill, N.J., as to his qualifications for citizenship, “the difference between the powers and prerogatives of the King of England and those of the President of the United States?”

“Yezzir,” spoke up Ufuzzi promptly.  “King, he got steady job.”

In the English royal library at Windsor, in the center of the magazine table, there is a large album of pictures of many eminent and popular men and women of the day.  This book is divided into sections—­a section for each calling or profession.  Some years ago Prince Edward, in looking through the book, came across the pages devoted to the pictures of the rulers of the various nations.  Prominently placed among these was a large photograph of Colonel Roosevelt.

“Father,” asked Prince Edward, placing his finger on the Colonel’s picture, “Mr. Roosevelt is a very clever man, isn’t he?”

“Yes, child,” answered King George with a smile.  “He is a great and good man.  In some respects I look upon him as a genius.”

A few days later, King George, casually glancing through the album, noticed that President Roosevelt’s photograph had been removed and placed in the section devoted to “Men and Women of the Time.”  On asking the Prince whether he had removed the picture, the latter solemnly replied:  “Yes, sir.  You told me the other day that you thought Mr. Roosevelt a genius, so I took him away from the kings and emperors and put him among the famous people.”

KISSES

Jack disliked being kissed.  One day he had been kissed a lot.  Then, to make matters worse, on going to the picture-palace in the evening, instead of his favorite cowboy and Indian pictures there was nothing but a lot more hugging and kissing.  He returned home completely out of patience with the whole tribe of women.