Mrs. All. Yes, isn’t it a pity!  Such a lovely old place as it was, too—­the most comfortable house to stay at in all England; so beautifully warm!  But it’s dreadful to think of how the aristocracy are taking to marry out of their own set.  Look at the Duke of DRAGNET—­married a Miss DUCKWEED—­goodness only knows where he picked her up! but he got entangled somehow, and now his people are trying to get rid of her.  I see so many of these cases.  Well, I’m afraid I must wish you good evening—­it’s my time for retiring. (Patronisingly.) I’ve quite enjoyed this conversation—­such a pleasure in a place like this to come across a congenial companion!

Mrs. Ard. (fluttered and flattered).  I’m sure you’re exceedingly kind to say so, and I can say the same for myself.  I hope we may become better acquainted. (To herself, after Mrs. ALLBUTT has departed.) I’ve quite taken to that woman—­she’s so thoroughly the lady, and moves in very high society, too.  You can tell that from the way she talks.  What’s that paper oil the table? (She picks up a journal in a coloured wrapper.) Society Snippets, the Organ of the Upper Ten.  One Penny. The very thing I wanted.  It’s such a comfort to know who’s who. (She opens it and reads sundry paragraphs headed “Through the Keyhole.") Now how funny this is!  Here’s the very same thing about the dulness of the Season that she said.  That shows she must be really in it.  And a note about Lady NEURALINE being about to recruit at Homburg.  And another about her reputation for eccentricity, and her “sweetness to the select few privileged to be her intimates.”  And here’s all about Lord MANGO, and what a pleasant house Capsicums is, and his marriage, and the Duke of DRAGNET’s too.  Her information was very correct, I must say! (A light begins to break in upon her.) I wonder whether—­but there—­people of her sort wouldn’t require to read the papers for such things.

    [Here the door opens, and Mrs. ALLBUTT appears, in some
    embarrassment.

Mrs. All. (scrutinising the tables).  Oh, it’s nothing.  I thought I’d left something of mine here; it was only a paper—­I see I was mistaken, don’t trouble.

Mrs. Ard. (producing Society Snippets).  I expect it will be this.  (Mrs. ALLBUTT’s face reveals her ownership.) I took it up, not knowing it was yours. (Meaningly.) It has some highly interesting information, I see.

Mrs. All. (slightly demoralised).  Oh, has it?  I—­I’ve not had time to glance at it yet.  Pray don’t let me deprive you of it.  I dare say there’s very little in it I don’t know already.

Mrs. Ard. So I should have thought. (To herself, after Mrs. ALLBUTT has retired in disorder.) Fancy that woman trying to take me in like that, and no more in Society than I am—­if so much!  However, I’ve found her out before going too far—­luckily.  And I’ve a good mind to take in this Society Snippets myself—­it certainly does improve one’s conversation.  She won’t have it all her own way next time!