“Ah,” said.  THE PERSONAGE, meditatively stroking a chin made for Cabinets.  “Yes, he’s very important; he reminds me of a story I heard when I was in Scotland.  There was a funeral going on in a quiet street in Glasgow.  Among the company present was observed a man whom nobody seemed to know, but who was bustling about as if he were in charge of most things.  At last the undertaker, jealous of his own position, suggested he had better take a back seat.  ‘Losh man!’ cried the Unknown, his eyes blazing with indignation, ’I’m brither to the corpp.’  Dissentient Liberalism is dead; but JOE is brither to the corpp, and we must bear with him a little.”

That’s all very well; but they haven’t done with JOSEPH yet.  There may come times of distress and famine when he will be heard of from Egypt.

Business done.—­The Government’s.  Wound up by a majority of 40 in turbulent House of 660 Members.

* * * * *

OVIDIUS REMARK.

[Illustration:  ALL THE DIFFERENCE.

Ovid quite at Tomi.  Tomi not quite at Tomi at Ovid.]

    (From a confirmed Tea-Drinker, who, suffering from Gout, has
    been forbidden his favourite beverage.)

DEAR TOPER,—­Alas, no more of “The generous” for some time to come, and, what afflicts me most is, I am cut off from my Tea!  “What, no soap!  So he died.”  Substitute “Tea” for “Soap,” and there I am.  My boy TOMMY, who is at home for the holidays, reminds me of what OVID said at Tomi, not to TOMMY, as they were not contemporaries, “Nec tecum vivere possum, nec sine te.”  For “te” read “tea,” and that’s my case to a T.

[Greek:  Thatts Houtis.]

Goughty Street, Old Portman Square.

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LADY GAY’S SELECTIONS.—­Dear Mr. Punch,—­And now for another glance at Racing.  Next week we have meetings at Stockton and Wolverhampton, and the most important race is the Stockton Handicap, for which I will append my usual poetic selection:—­

STOCKTON HANDICAP SELECTION.

  A difficult river to cross, I am told,
    Is the one that is known as the Styx;
  But, if rider and horseman be equally bold,
    You can do it by aid of “The Pyx"!

This will rejoice the hearts of my followers, who have been “selectionless” for some weeks, and have therefore been unable to bet, unless they have accepted the absolutely unreliable information given by all the other sporting writers, but never by, yours truly,

LADY GAY. Nash Hotel, Bournemouth.

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