N.B.  Five per cent, per annum taken off for terms of imprisonment.

    [Illustration:  hand] N.B.  For prompt payment only.

Messrs. Q. and Q.’s card of charges for defending a Nobleman, Right Honble., Baronet, Knight, Esquire., Gentleman, Younger Son, Head Clerk, Junior do., Westminster Boy, Medical Student, Grecian at Christ’s Church, Monitor, or any other miscellaneous individual aping or belonging to the aristocracy, from the following prosecutions:—­

         &nb
sp;                                                  L s. 
    To breaking a policeman’s neck 50 0
    To producing witnesses to swear policeman broke same
        himself 10 0
    To choice of situation of house in street where done,
        from roof of which policeman fell; fee to landlord’
        for number and affidavit 10 10
          
                                                  -----
      Total for neck, acquittal, witnesses, and perjury L70 10
          
                                                  -----
    For do. leg, ribs, arms, head, nose, or other
        unimportant member 15 0
    For receipt written by wife of handsome provision 1 0
    For writing and indorsing same 5 5
    Extras for alibis, if necessary; hire of clothes for
        witnesses to look decent, including loss by their
        absconding with the name 10 10
          
                                                  -----
      Total L31 15
          
                                                  -----
    For knockers by gross in populous neighbourhoods 20 0
    For carpenter proving same never fitted their
        respective doors there engaged 3 3
    All extras included 1 1
          
                                                  -----
      Total L24 4

    N.B.—­Messrs. Q. and Q. beg to suggest, as the above charges are
    low, the old iron may as well be left at their offices.

    For railings, per knob or dozen, assaults on police
        included, if not amounting to fracture 5 5
    For suppressing police reports, or getting them put
        in in a sporting manner, the word gentleman
        substituted for prisoner, and “seat on the bench”
        for “place at the bar” 10 10
          
                                                  -----
      Total L15 15

    And all other legal articles in the above lines at equally low
    charges.